Baroque Bird

'Dinky and sweet', apparently. Easily excited/distracted/grumped/confused. Very fond of Baroque music (obvs), musicals, ducks, and jelly. Oh look, kittens!

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Dear Twitterers, this comes out the week before my birthday. Please feel free to coordinate amongst yourselves, as I only need one copy.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Junior: have you done your mid-year performance review yet?
BB: I wrote it yesterday in the hope that I would wake up and have more to say but no, I am just as useless today so will just submit it as is.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Boss wished me a happy holiday and I decided it wasn’t wise to reply that I hoped it wouldn’t be too awful with all his faves on leave at the same time. (On the other hand, he approved our leave so whose fault is that?)

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

BB: any holidays planned?
Junior Sales: I have Friday off but haven’t told Head yet.
BB: don’t. Just FYI her 2 mins before you leave on Thursday.

Mental health advice to juniors, even if it isn’t great career advice.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

So beautiful. Go away.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

I know it’s the middle of a heatwave but the cauli was so beautiful in the shop so just shut up and let me enjoy my cauli orzo bake in peace.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at the way you deal with spiders: you hairspray them, you water them…”

Oh har de har har.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Today I conducted a hosta funeral and washed all my dirty plant pots. Here is the class photo.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Cannot remember the names of my various houseplants so am now naming them after politicians. This is Keir.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

New favourite time-wasting activity is watching dressed-up hamsters eating a beautifully plated meal.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Head of Sales: are you in the kayak?
BB: how do you mean?
HoS: are you paddling with us?
BB: um, I’m busy bailing water out of the boat?
HoS: *laughs*
BB: at least it’s heading in the right direction now…

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

@Nick_Wellings Oh yes please, thank you! Will be in touch when we get round to planning. Hope all well.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Have already started planning holiday to Bulgaria next year #Eurovisión2026

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

BB: … so I have to find colleagues to do networking practice with summer interns?
Colleague: correct. Preferably not socially awkward ones.
BB: I may not be the best judge of that.
Colleague: you’re not socially awkward!
BB: gee, thanks.
Colleague: you’re just awkward.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Desk neighbour: I am regretting scoffing that breakfast so fast.
BB: Will you regret it long?
DN: maybe for the next 23 minutes, max.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Desk neighbour and I are busy planning a Too Good To Go brunch next week, whilst simultaneously lamenting our imminent weight gain from this new venture of ours.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Am very happy that at the moment the leaderboard is reading Italy, Malta, Bulgaria.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Won’t be waiting for the scores, even though that’s the main entertainment of the night.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Again, don’t really know what’s going on but I like it. And again, Gangnam style vibes.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

My goodness, I like the nightwear the hosts are wearing.

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Starting Eurovision late tonight…

[Baroque Bird @baroquebird]

Austria! Final song! Reminds me of the tinfoil hat a colleague made for a murder mystery dinner.