bart

my professional account // retweet ≠ endorsement

[bart @bartyoswald]

Jimmy Buffett and Warren Buffett …. Coincidence??

[Perfume Genius @perfumegenius]

Whenever someone doesn’t have a huge tv in their living room and it’s just a couch I’m like ok……………..

[bart @bartyoswald]

@lobbyspider Live free or die baby

[bart @bartyoswald]

@brostine Omg

[bart @bartyoswald]

A major difference between me and my mom is that she was extremely surprised to hear that I was not planning to invite my landlord to my wedding.

[bart @bartyoswald]

@lobbyspider Don’t worry when u come back all healed up it will be peak garage sale season and we can spend a whole day walking around neighborhood garage sales stopping every few blocks to sit at a cafe or bar or lemonade stand for a different little drink

[bart @bartyoswald]

Guess who just got hit on by a cop @ jimmy johns… ya that’s right it was me and he said “you look great in those shoes”

[bart @bartyoswald]

Not enough people are talking about how we need to end hoverboard culture once and for all

[bart @bartyoswald]

@lobbyspider ❤️

[bart @bartyoswald]

@brostine Nailed it

[bart @bartyoswald]

I will bet any amount of money that Beyoncé and Kacey Musgraves will have a collab on their new album(s) and I want everyone in the world to say “Becky predicted that”

[bart @bartyoswald]

@mary_0nline Mary do I need to get u a different chair for our wedding

[bart @bartyoswald]

My hospital got pink scrubs bc everyone kept stealing scrubs so they thought this would be a deterrent so now it just looks like Barbie Hospital it’s soooo cute

[#RingoStarr @ringostarrmusic]

Happy happy birthday, David Lynch what a guy what good you do in our world I send you peace and love Ringo. 😎✌️🌟❤️🍒🥦🌈🎶☮️

[bart @bartyoswald]

@lobbyspider I cannot believe this

[bart @bartyoswald]

Just got into an elevator w 6 middle aged women.

Woman 1: “almost Friday”
Everyone: *quiet giggles*
Woman 2: “almost Christmas”
Everyone: *quietly giggles*

[bart @bartyoswald]

@Whitney_OJ Whitney holy shit !!!

[bart @bartyoswald]

@lobbyspider Lettuce vs scallops

[Pookie De La Créme @speeeena]

The people’s princess