joelle

Hasbeen book editor & ghostwriter. Regret artist. Former yeshiva gal with a potty mouth. Like a 60-year-old man with more pep.

[joelle @bathoward]

This girl is maybe 11 and has washboard abs. I'm eating my second dinner. #truthbooth #olympictrials

[joelle @bathoward]

The @MTA is a dodgy and corrupt institution. At Columbus Circle, all the MetroCard machines have issues. 4/5 sell single rides only, and the one that could refill my card didn’t take a card, only cash. Something murky is afoot, methinks.

[joelle @bathoward]

Congrats @NJTRANSIT on a terrible experience. #AirTrain going haywire. On way to terminal C, the train—filled with customers packed to the gills because the cars are so small—reverses course & goes back to terminal B & stops in the middle of the track. Confusion, worry & delay…

[joelle @bathoward]

The @DailyMail is terrible but I love it, esp for bollox like this: freaking out about a liberal's typo *right above* a headline that proves one of their editors doesn't know the difference between your and you're. (Yes, I highlighted the pic. #nerd) #WeAreAllTypos

[joelle @bathoward]

So @mta. So often when the 1 pulls into Times Square the 2/3 is often leaving. Why can’t the 2/3 wait maybe 30 seconds so people can run on instead of wait and wait for the next downtown express? It’s the little things.

[DZ Kalman 🇺🇸🇨🇦 @dzkalman]

Apparently Fiddler on the Roof’s opening song was specifically about rushing to get ready for Shabbat. It was transformed into “Tradition” because the original wasn’t sufficiently relatable. A shame, it’s a great song!

[joelle @bathoward]

Whoever wrote the title for this @22Words #Amazon article went to the Derek Zoolander Center for Children Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too School of #Editing (...& yes I'm ashamed for clicking on it)

[joelle @bathoward]

Who in the @mta comms dept. thought that this revised signage would be more helpful than what we had before? #cmonson #crankynewyorker #ifitaintbroke

[Eliza Orlins @elizaorlins]

THE NYPD HAS A BUDGET OF $11 BILLION.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Who is she. 💯💯💯💯💯💯

[joelle @bathoward]

@marthaburzynsk @sho_help @Roku @Adobe No idea how to cancel through iTunes but for some reason I’m guessing that is a culprit… will be curious to hear what happens. Godspeed!

[joelle @bathoward]

@marthaburzynsk @sho_help @Roku @Adobe Check your cc bill for the date of first charges as well as your email; hopefully there’s an email receipt and info on how to cancel. (Did you sign up through some cc promo? I did that for Paramount+ which was thru AmEx tho I think I had to cancel through Amazon!) Good luck!

[Smita Pal @theavgmom]

SPOILER
Hate to do this but wtf is happening. Me and my hubby got two different solutions today. So tried again on another phone and yes the solutions were diff on https://t.co/VuOv9UttXu site and nytimes.
What’s happening? Is the solution AROMA or AGORA
#wordle
#wordle241

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

LOVE having the entire internet discussing whether Jews are a race or not, great fun time to be jewish here not deeply unsettling at all!!!!!!

[joelle @bathoward]

@laurenzcollins Or is it because of all the snake oil burning in that kitchen

[joelle @bathoward]

@laurenzcollins Is that why she needs the huge hood—because of all her vagina candles?

[joelle @bathoward]

#AndJustLikeThat …I learned that the hot podcast producer was not played by Dave Annable. Oops!

[joelle @bathoward]

Didn’t see @nbcsnl but one shot of #PeytonManning made me think he was doing a #GoodTimes Rerun bit.

[Neil Gaiman @neilhimself]

There's only one kind of people who would vote to ban Maus, whatever they are calling themselves these days.