evan

sade is in my tape deck, i’m movin’ in slow motion, boi

[evan @battenitdown]

shams suuuuucks. keep him off the booster seat behind the sportscenter desk

[evan @battenitdown]

big spenders are referred to as "whales" at these companies

[user @user84829272]

Is everyone aware of the fact that boomers are pouring tens of thousands into apps that aren’t even gambling? They’re just slot machine simulators with no payout?

[evan @battenitdown]

i always manage to light khaki colored pants. never white, just khaki

[evan @battenitdown]

no dating apps the rest of the year; going the old fashioned way and looking confused at homegoods smelling candles

[evan @battenitdown]

@softbutmouthy hahaha god damn

[evan @battenitdown]

if i had this level of helplessness i’d shoot myself

[Lucy @TheLucyShow1]

She brings in his lunch box, makes him lunch & breakfast and lays out his clothes for work. Is she a great mommy or the best wife? 🧐

[evan @battenitdown]

foxtrot uniform charlie kilo by bloodhound gang is stuck in my head, probably one of the better songs to have that honor as of late

[evan @battenitdown]

that's the stuff
https://t.co/91K5puI4qv

[evan @battenitdown]

keeping the spirits high
https://t.co/gXrHfXWJ8A

[evan @battenitdown]

@Tyre_94 naz is legit. the jelly fam legacy lives on haha

[evan @battenitdown]

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[evan @battenitdown]

holy shit my mortgage is going down in august by $190 and i’m getting reimbursement check on top of that. escrow been stealing my money

[evan @battenitdown]

new boot goofin 365 days a year

[law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg]

applying to become the gay rich sheriff of san francisco

[evan @battenitdown]

czarface is no longer scaring the hoes music thank you tom hardy

[Dobson 🦋 @ByDobson]

Tom Hardy is officially dropping his debut rap album alongside Czarface under his pseudonym Frankie Pulitzer…

August 28th 🚨

[evan @battenitdown]

@smibeans you may find one still at the old price but you gotta act fast. props for keeping a 2015 pro working for this long though lol

[evan @battenitdown]

i still love my 2017 macbook air but i think it’s time to put ole girl out to pasture now that it’s can barely manage to run chrome

[evan @battenitdown]

24gb of ram and 1tb secured before the price hike lets gooo

[evan @battenitdown]

i should buy one like RIGHT NOW then huh

[evan @battenitdown]

@mlstrat *sigh* ball up top