SPEEDMAN

and THESE are my dreams

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

there are two things everyone needs to know about me: (1) i drink A LOT of water, and (2) i pee A LOT

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@PoloniusMarcus And?

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@PoloniusMarcus Superpowers

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@zachlanebryan Zach when’s the next pop up in Manhattan. I’ll be there with a guitar ready for you. Give me a 15 minute warning. That’s all I need brother

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

I’m a really good guy but the reality is if I committed a crime in front of a cop I could outrun 99% of them

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@PoloniusMarcus This true? @JimmyTatro

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

The day I started viewing birds as mini dinosaurs my life got 10x better

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@AlbanianKlay @AnniePosition4 @JMeatbeaterson @NickyNutsack Epic. Enjoy.

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@PoloniusMarcus You’re gonna crush it Marcus. Hold in your farts!

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

A 3 hour delay without a single announcement? Shame @Delta. Will I ever get home?

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Entertainment provided by @jmlevine5 🤝

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Just walked 10k steps in the JAX airport (terminal a) to kill time. That’s 1 terminal folks. 10k steps. Lots of weird looks

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Tony hawk Tua Tagovailoa

🤝

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Love America and all but the oilers fans singing oh Canada has me absolutely bricked up for playoff hockey

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Why are you, as a grown man, wearing a necklace with a number on it??? (Pro athletes get a pass here)

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@EricGreenberg22 Sup slick Rick

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

As a grown man you get 1, MAYBE 2, Snapchat stories per year.

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Just had an Uber eats driver go to Duane reade to get me anti diahrea medicine and pedialyte. The eye contact when he dropped it off said a lot. TYFYS Markel.

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Sun is shining in New York and I can’t wait to spend $8 on a coffee and $25 on a spritz let’s fucking gooooooooo

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

@AmericanAir Just sent you a DM

[SPEEDMAN @beanwhodreams]

Absolutely disgusted to hear about the headache @AmericanAir is putting my uncle through (life long platinum flier). If they change your seat due to a plane change, then it should be in the same spot as before? Or a refund? Seems like a burden that shouldn’t be on the customer.