Jack Griffin

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

All these guys complain about is being in the friend zone, so let me ease everyone’s fears and say she probably doesn’t want to be friends either.

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

@samuelCpowell ^Me yelling at my little cousin holding a newly unwrapped Tickle Me Elmo

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

Congrats to my main man Zappe, going from an F to a C 🫸🫷real ones move in silence 🤫🔥

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

tag yourself I’m egg

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

Not paying for her meal because I can’t

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

Buying my burrito with guac on the first date so she knows that I can provide for her ❤️

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

Some words have been ruined by sexual connotations and I think it’s time we start reclaiming them. I don’t want everyone looking at me all weird when I say I’d rather have ice cream than grandma’s flaccid soufflé

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

Me? Paranoid? Nooooo. At least, I don’t think so….

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

How are we as a society not taking more of chipotle’s free to-go mystery bags

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

@samuelCpowell @TheNBACentral It is a quick choice. Brogdon da

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

“New year new me” I say to myself as I put on the same socks I’ve had since I was 10

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

@iangach @4PF_Rami A black polo? Clearly this man is an expert

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

If you start the Chik-Fil-A Peach Bowl at exactly 8 pm on December 31, you’ll get to watch Ohio State miss the field goal right at midnight. #balldrop

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

@iangach @peta Harder to make those adorably sad commercial when the puppy has a shotgun

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

I’m an ethical hunter. The deer gets a gun too. Play on

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

(Stepping on stage for an open mic)

You know I one time had someone shoot at me once during a set. (Pause) no I’m just kidding that was a joke. Get ready for a lot more of those.

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

The best part about going on a morning run is spending the rest of the day acting like this is who you are as a person

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

I’d give up my left arm to be ambidextrous

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

@RGIII Hey Mr. III, it’s me, your cousin Jack Griffin the fifth. I say we bring this team the family feel that it needs. We have a III and we have a V, now we just need a 1, 2, 4, and 6-10. We can call ourselves the Ten Washington Commander-ments. Let me know your thoughts

[James @CaucasianJames]

there should be a college called big dog university. i would’ve gone

[Jack Griffin @bearandnotbear]

There’s no way all of you own umbrellas