always

lucky girl

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

I am my own worst enemy. And thus, as the enemy of my enemy, my best friend.

[eisha 🍒 @meishato]

they should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you

[eisha 🍒 @meishato]

didn’t kill myself this year +1000 aura

[celty ⋆˙⟡ @whyc3lty]

“spread ur cheeks” could just mean smile. so come on. spread them cheeks

[mysti 🤠 mole ΘΔ @mysti_mole]

you're on thick ice young lady. frozen all the way to the bottom in fact. ngl you could get away with pretty much anything here

[Mo @fruitpibble]

(flirting) i'm sorry

[||| @rynohboy]

need a fat blunt and a kiss

[死 @humanxmaybe]

the prophecy did not foretell this bullshit

[Zach Schonfeld @zzzzaaaacccchhh]

Yeah, I'm a fan of A24. A24-year-old movie called Zoolander.

[vedetta | jinx of shedtwt @vdtt444]

i wish humans had multiple lives so i could kill myself every time i get stressed

[hera @shiningdaisies]

what should my next mistake be

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

There’s no need to worry, it’s simply your body’s natural response to being crushed by machinery

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Statistics is easy basically there’s a 50/50 chance of anything happening

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

New guy: ( gets stuck in the tar)

Me: (up to my neck in tar) welcome to the tar my man !

[m&m @m4riahxo]

ppl who have no shame in texting back fast are the best

[cumweiser @cumweiser]

call her black friday the way she had my jeans half off

[always @becominging]

@BYEJIMMY You’re so fucking cool!

[Pitless @pitlessball]

Kevin Love to Corey Brewer outlet passes

[fried rice enthusiast @talnottowel]

for some reason i keep thinking