abs

tattooed, bespectacled nerd || recently voted #1 most annoying pirate who should just go away

[abs @bee_haw]

how it started how it’s going

[abs @bee_haw]

does anyone know how I can get some of these just To Have as a non-American bc I’m obsessed

[Rory Blank @BoneJail]

Nat Power, an Austin, TX based tattoo artist, designed 2027 USPS stamps based on American cryptids

Nat is also my girlfriend :)

[abs @bee_haw]

husband happened to walk past the bedroom while I was taking my bra off and now says he “glimpsed the twin suns of Valhalla”

[abs @bee_haw]

I think everyone should see how my husband went out in public for the oot remake midnight launch

[abs @bee_haw]

“You see, I’ve wanted to get fucked by a gorilla ever since I watched donkey kong” - @thehaysus

[abs @bee_haw]

9 years ago today an EB Games employee hit on me and spelled my name wrong!!!!!!!!! here’s how I punished him

[abs @bee_haw]

my new word is “slopaganda”, for ai generated propaganda bullshit. used in a sentence: “wow, my father in law is sharing pro-Israel slopaganda on Facebook again”

[abs @bee_haw]

@ItsMeOutbreaker Ok love that but also dang, target😔

[abs @bee_haw]

@do_rei_mi TRUE

[abs @bee_haw]

“Celebration cookies? Felicidades muffin? What’s next, Good Job Buddy Gum?” - the man I married

[abs @bee_haw]

@thehaysus What if we go grocery shopping at Walmart and get macdonal sheecan noogey

[abs @bee_haw]

had a terrible day at work & tmr is gonna suck too and I’m not saying chicken nuggets would solve my problems but they’d certainly take the edge off

[abs @bee_haw]

@thehaysus

[abs @bee_haw]

@thehaysus

[abs @bee_haw]

@thehaysus dr cox what r u doing w ur tongue

[abs @bee_haw]

we found fucking crack in the store this morning and my manager……. threw it in the garbage and went back to work

[abs @bee_haw]

me: we found crack in the store
everyone with a brain: so management called the police for it to be safely disposed of, right?

[abs @bee_haw]

Jesús, confidently playing the king of spades and queen of diamonds in a poker game: I’m going for a flush…. hopefully :)

[abs @bee_haw]

“I’m experiencing womanhood again” - my husband, wearing a blanket poncho