Miranda🧶

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

I've gotten so into the habit of checking to see if my baby is breathing that I just had to check to see if Casey was breathing

yes readers, my 28 year old husband did not die of SIDS

I can rest easy now

goodnight

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

at the risk of sounding slightly misogynistic:

as a 2018 beauty school grad, I am so happy the trend of hairstylists wearing boater hats to work is all but gone.

They were not flattering and I don't see the point of covering your own hair while working on someone else's 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

@GamewithDave

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

Hello I am only coming back on twt to brag for a sec

My 18 month old will pick up her sleep sack and say, "bed!" when she's tired.

so we do bedtime routine, and then she just... falls asleep. At 7 pm

Idk which god I have pleased but thank u I will never take this for granted

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

@thedigitalyenta @CartoonsHateHer there was a really popular parenting influencer who I am not going to name that claimed that "formula feeding increases the risk of sids" and like.

no the fuck it does not? Ive blocked her on every social media account I have bc I can't stand her bs

[James @james_j_bailey]

Please help me, I went out for some milk and am now in grave danger of purchasing a second-hand toucan lamp

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

Kinda seems like if someone commits 34 felonies in order to win an election, their Supreme Court appointments shouldn’t get to remain on the bench for life

[AVC @annevclark]

This AI stuff is so embarrassing. It's a chatbot. We had chatbots in the 90s. They're getting all this money and making all these deals because they changed what they call a chatbot.

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, “I told her we’d bring her some fresh baked cookies when they’re ready.” I informed her that we weren’t baking any cookies today and she said, “Oh, I guess we kinda have to now, don’t we?” Diabolical.

[Dan Walden @dwaldenwrites]

yes it's absurd because it should start in kindergarten and everybody should have at least two under their belt by the time they graduate high school, and should have a working knowledge of Spanish no matter what

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

@omega_nora @JAT_1950 @Rice_Prop @aangdaily Pema didn't "break them up"

She had feelings for someone and didn't want to keep them to herself anymore. What Tenzin chose to do after that was all on him.

[The Daily Beans Podcast @dailybeanspod]

!!!

[roobz 🌙 🌸 @tishray]

Ironically enough its marriage, and specifically my husband, that helped me get my sh*t together. I think too many people believe that they have to be perfect to deserve love.

[The Classic Wife 🎀☦️ @theclassicwife]

Your love for your pets change after having a baby

[Austen Allred @Austen]

A random thing someone told me once that I now think about constantly:

If you feel like you hate everyone, eat.

If you feel like everyone hates you, sleep.

If you feel like you hate yourself, shower.

If you feel like everyone hates everyone, go outside.

[Miranda🧶 @bees_elbows]

@aangdaily he changed his mind by the end of the book though

[bird 🐇 @oliveegger]

My little parenting anecdote that I have experienced over my short 20 months of being a parent is they will literally do things when they are ready and no sooner. Independent sleep, weaning, etc. And we make ourselves miserable by trying to force them to meet specific timelines

[FTW Arts @FTW_Arts]

For those that are going to miss the eclipse on Monday, I have created a simulation of what the eclipse will look like along the path of totality