Catríona Campbell

Tiocfaidh ár Mná. Spec-Fic Writer. Strident Feminist. Awkward Humour Expert. Eyebrow Gymnast. She/Her.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@scottygb Cilla Black eating an orange covered in OXO cube.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@horrorsthetics @AntoMcG @GillianA We could have had THIS instead of Catherine Zeta Jones in dodgy lipliner? We have been ROBBED.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@Boolov2 @NeolithicSheep It’d be rude not to invite the neighbours though. Come on over, I hear next door are making wassail for the wassailling!

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@OptimoPrincipi This is the kind of goal we should all aspire to, to have a Destruction Horizon named in your honour.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@Ciaraioch Built for Comfort Not for Speed Chic 👍🏻

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@anaismitchell Disposable cameras. A week’s lag time before you knew how the photos turned out. No endless taking, re-taking, and re-taking to ensure aesthetic perfection.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@AntonSavageShow I know. I’m ashamed of myself.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@AntonSavageShow One could almost accuse her of taking the pith. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll see myself out.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@Ciaraioch Can this PLEASE be a t-shirt logo???

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@gavreilly Can we just get rid of the lot of them? Literally everyone in Dáil Éireann, every single one, just fling them into the sun and start fresh. They’re all the damn same.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@Novawulfen @cpoffers @stavvers Bombadil and Goldberry are photographers, and until I see a letter from Tolkien saying otherwise, you can’t prove it isn’t…Canon.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@darabrady8 @janky_jane Ah yes. My cousin got a pair of trendy Perspex-framed glasses and was called Curly Watts. Devastating.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@ActNormalOrElse Short: “Oh wow, you’re very tall.”
Me: looking at my gangly spider legs, as though they’ve just appeared, beginning a bloodcurdling scream. “WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM???”

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@DonnellyStephen BULLSHIT. You won’t even remain present in the chamber for discussion of ownership of NMH & maternity restrictions. #bettermaternitycare #WhoseNeedsAreBeingMet

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@daraobriain United would have had a clear advantage with Fergie in the stands, just waiting to put his boots back on.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@griffski Was that a King of the Hill reference? HOW DARE YOU. You take that back right now. I’m calling the Winged Cancellation Monkeys down upon you as we speak.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@theresaryan @DonnellyStephen Contact your maternity unit and ask about their local policy, because nothing said at National level can be trusted to be reflective of the situation on the ground.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@DonnellyStephen Please STOP using the word “visit”!! Partners are NOT visitors! They are advocates, emotional and physical support, and PARENTS in their own right! They’re not just bringing in grapes ffs! #WhoseNeedsAreBeingMet #bettermaternitycare #notjustavisitor #liftmaternityrestrictions

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@realrossnoble Loo roll on a stick, because let’s be honest, she’s not wiping her bum with leopard-print gloves integrated in her catsuit/onesie/Maximum Hoodie.

[Catríona Campbell @beetrootfuelled]

@WendiAarons Or “Have you tried losing weight?”