Edward Bell

Download my Gravedigger EP free at watch me singing backstage at the 2012 olympics here -

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

#TikTok https://t.co/bljttQwVsR

[joe heenan @joeheenan]

My son told me there’s a wee boy who comes into his room at night & plays with him.
A shiver ran down my spine, then I remembered I have another son & it’s probably him

[rachelle @rchlltrmn]

i like a woman who knows how to eat. i go crazy for women who sleep when they’re tired. don’t even get me started on women who are into water and shelter

[Scarlet @NekomimiScience]

Work From Home is overrated.

Instead, I propose Work From IKEA. Go to IKEA when it’s absolutely dead during the week and join a video conference from a different mock room every hour until your team notices.

[Nic Sampson @NicSampson]

Me: “Rube can you pass me a beer?”

Rube Goldberg: “of course”
(starts setting up many dominoes)

Me: “for fu—you know what Rube forget it. I think you should just leave.”

Rube: “I’ll get my coat”
(sadly rolls a marble towards a mousetrap)

[joe heenan @joeheenan]

Hour 17 of Monopoly.
Everyone is so tired.
My mum is rocking back & forth in the corner whispering “Make it stop”.
My wife threw the hotels in the fire 6 hours ago & now we’re using Rolos.
The dog has left us.
I’ve forgotten the names of my children.
Someone send help!

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

you want some good news from 2018? I bet you do

• book sales are up this year over last year
• sales of physical books have grown every year since 2013
• indie bookstores have increased by 35 percent in the past decade

reading isn’t dying, it’s *thriving.* happy new year.

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

@DPD_UK your van driver (registration ending HCL) on the M3 is barely in control of his van. Swerving all over the motorway. Dangerous.

[Matt Perriment @MPerriment]

200+ shows, 3 tours, 5 countries and 1 record later, I’m insanely happy to announce I’ve signed a worldwide record deal with @v2records ✨ Honoured and proud to be working with such a… https://t.co/d0qpTsMfWL

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

@touchnote have emailed you this morning to stop a postcard being sent - any way to prioritise a cancellation?

[the wub @thewub]

Just refused to give my name in Starbucks until they informed me of my privacy rights. As the barista looked confused the whole place started chanting "GDPR! GDPR!'

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

@greateranglia Your 13:06 bus replacement from Marks Tey set off at 13:17 and has taken us towards Colchester instead of Chelmsford. He then went the wrong way again. We’re going to miss the Chelmsford train aren’t we?

[Gareth Penrose @garethpenrose]

My money is on the live wolves.

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

@YouGov @YouGov can’t you only say that if you were asking their one favourite candidate? What’s the significance of asking for their three most fave?

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

Better than Sun Tzu if you ask me... #NoOneAskedMe https://t.co/2Ms6TV8dS8

[Picard Tips @PicardTips]

Picard tactical tip: There is no shame in a wise retreat. The shame would be in risking one's crew because of selfish pride.

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

Can’t wait to play @TheNedLondon tonight with @MPerriment and strings. Playing a real grand no less. #MusicMondays #FreeGig #London #singersongwriter

[Matt Perriment @MPerriment]

Gig tomorrow night at @thenedlondon in association with Peerless Promotions✨ Free entry & with a grand piano, my full string section and band 💥 @ The Ned London https://t.co/o8PV5de4oE

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

@sainsburys have emailed you, but Tottenham Court Road branch shoplifter stole loads of your @TNLUK scratch cards around 09:03-09:04 this morning. Possibly the vodka they were drinking out of too.

[Laura Lovette @laurajlovette]

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1000s of pictures you have of them sleeping

[Edward Bell @bellmusic]

Wow. I mean I thought I’d had a tricky week... #ICantBelieveYouveDoneThis