Ben Adams

loveslave to @let2elise, dad. I got a smokin deal on a huge pile of secondhand pants that fit well and can't stop talking about it.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

Irony of taking my dog to the vet while I haven't seen a doctor in many years hitting pretty hard RN. If I ever do go to a doctor, they better rub my tummy, give me cookies and tell me I'm a good boy pretty boy yes you are yes you ARE!

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@FlyFrontier Seriously @FlyFrontier how is there not a customer service phone number on your support page?

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@FlyFrontier sends email: click here to check in. Doesn't work. Can't check in the website or the app, or the kiosk at the airport, and no ticket agents at the desk at MCI. Every time I buy a ticket on your airline, the experience is awful. Kind security guard goes to gate...

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

I feel bad for your employees. I've worked at some pretty dysfunctional places but hooboy would I hate to be asked in a social situation, "what do you do?" and have to admit sheepishly "I work at @FlyFrontier." I'd probably pretend I work somewhere people hate less, like the IRS.

[Hannibal Buress @hannibalburess]

Jokic act like he just won 3 dollars at the slot machine.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@guyincognito Gourdon Ramsey

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@MadScientistFF A book about process improvement called The Toyota Way

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

Ah yes, Autumn, also known as sweater weather, or as we say in my closet, the Season Of Rebirth For Button-Downs Too Stained To Wear To Work. Yes, the whole chest and belly area are covered in salsa, but the collar and cuffs peaking out dad-style are clean as a whistle.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@DARTprobe Returning fire, 65M years later.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@TheTweetOfGod And unlike the mafia, is not expected to pay taxes.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@short_tymer Dikembe Majumbo

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

Yup.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

I am one grey pube from turning forty and am, as a born Virginian, attending a GWAR show with this sweet piece of ass right here.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

Aftermath

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

Shout-out all the epileptics that love a good rave and just had to figure that shit out SEND TWEET

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@WolfBible @DanCrenshawTX @AaronGorga Whatever your political differences with the congressman, surely you can do better than making fun of his disability.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

@RazorLou Just as long as it glows in the dark so I can eat it on the toilet without turning on the light cause I don't want to wake "all the way" up.

[Ben Adams @benadamscomedy]

If you're a hip hop fan, the new @blackthought goes so hard, my man said "the L holder bout to be you instead of me, you're a dickhead, I'm Dick Gregory." That's the most barringest bar I've heard in a while.