Ben Iwen

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Aliens built the pyramids obv

[Ben Iwen @benjaminiwen]

@elonmusk my guy. I’m in sales for business technology and short of my budget by $60k this month. Do you need anything? Let me know.

[Ben Iwen @benjaminiwen]

🙌

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Spicy Chicken Nuggets are coming back! Y’all are crazy!
That took like a day and a half! WHAT?!
We don’t know when yet, gotta figure it out, but soon, and ok, LOSING IT RIGHT NOW THIS IS AMAZING!!

[Ben Iwen @benjaminiwen]

My first time on Twitter is years is for spicy chicken nuggets. Please do your part.

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

Y’all keep asking, so here’s your chance.
The people in charge say if you guys can get our tweet (this one right here) to 2 Million likes, they will bring SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS BACK.
Let’s freakin’ do this!

[Nick Baumgardner @nickbaumgardner]

Someone may want to tell Tim Miles this is what a Quadrant 1 team looks like.

[Bernie Thoughts @berniethoughts]

TAKE A MOMENT TO CONSIDER THE POTATO—A DELICIOUS ROCK

[Thaddeus Russell @ThaddeusRussell]

Worship of the head of state as a father figure. Textbook cultural fascism. https://t.co/IqgeYeiEQL

[Michael Malice @michaelmalice]

+100000 https://t.co/oQYMpEkfhL

[Kate Upton @KateUpton]

Hey @MLB I thought I was the only person allowed to fuck @JustinVerlander ?! What 2 writers didn't have him on their ballot?

[Michael Malice @michaelmalice]

All you alt-right people are going to feel plenty stupid when President Clinton nukes Mecca.

[Michael Malice @michaelmalice]

FACEBOOK: "I want to get my kudos for voting but I don't want to have to defend my candidate so I guess I'll wrap it all in some weak joke."

[Michigan Students @UMichStudents]

Owl facts: The common barn owl has the same number of Big Ten wins as Michigan State.

[Sam Lee @SamLee]

Genuinely funny from the WBA fans. Singing "we've got the ball" when in possession then switching to "we've lost the ball" when City have it

[Fake SportsCenter @FakeSportsCentr]

"Put me in coach, I can make contact with the ball." - Steve Bartman

[Michael Malice @michaelmalice]

If these jihadis want to kill civilians with impunity they should just run for office like a normal person.

[Ben Iwen @benjaminiwen]

If you take more than 20 seconds to order your food in the drive through, I officially hate you.

[Glenn Robinson III @GRIII]

Good morning! have no fear today.. it kills growth.

[Ben Iwen @benjaminiwen]

@t_ferrio our IT guys unblock it for DOTA2 majors and LOL worlds

[Bernie Thoughts @berniethoughts]

MASHED POTATO SOUNDS VIOLENT