Ben Porter

All opinions are my own, because duh, this is my Twitter account.

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

I’m shocked that I’m the only one in the theater for a 1:40 Tuesday showing of Fast X. What is wrong with the world?

[Van Lathan Jr @VanLathan]

.@NickSwagyPYoung all the rest of your secrets will be revealed

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Well shoot. Now I have to learn how to play guitar

[Boob McNutt @boobmcnutt67]

I am BEGGING you to watch this TikTok a dude has rarely rocked even half this hard

[marlee @marleetwt]

trying to break up my parents marriage (making them be euchre partners)

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Canned Old Fashioned = The Stupidest possible liquid you could drink

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Watching the World Cup and realizing that coaches/managers can have much better fits than the regular suit and tie

[Mavs Network @MavsNetwork]

men only want one thing and it’s disgusting

[roger bennett @rogbennett]

Brenden Aaronson’s Leeds song Incredible🇺🇸
🗣🗣🗣
"Come to Elland Road and you will see him play.
Signed from Red Bull Salzburg and he’s here to stay.
I really want to, get a picture with you, you’ll be my American boy, American boy"

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Watching the beginning of the Manti Teo doc and about turned it off when I saw “Executive Producer Chrissy Teigan”

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

@brady4728572 Is this a tomato machine that sees race?

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

I’m imagining what turn I would have to take in my career path to become a death doula

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Wearing my t shirt that says “SOCIALism DISTANCING” because I’m sick with it

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Drinking a beer, watching Pitch Perfect 2, and looking at Twitter to see if KD gets traded #lifeofateacher

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Mike Pence after he went to Hanover for a semester

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

Anchorman on Netflix? Fine I’ll watch it for a 15th time

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

@getting_dome It’s what you get for working for the *redacted*

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

@bullishboiler @brady4728572 @getting_dome Paavo says shut up and do 10 more

[Ben Porter @benporter97]

I really wish I cared about anything as much as some people do about posting Instagram stories marketing themselves after something terrible happens