Bert Johnson

Friend, father, former husband, Reddie. Standing desk proponent. UFC fan. Henderson State Class of ‘86 | Opinion Columnist at Gunk Daily. Always serious.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

In Raider’s facility today and two points of note:

1. Maxx Crosby’s locker is missing from the locker room.

2. Spotted storied former University of Northern Iowa head coach Mark Farley walking alongside owner Mark Davis. Both were carrying binders.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@koestreicher34 I will never forgive Mark Andrews, Todd Monken or John Harbaugh for wasting the best season yet from the greatest quarterback this franchise will EVER have, alongside the best running back this franchise ever had. Lamar Jackson deserves better. Derrick Henry deserves better.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@koestreicher34 Time for Tucker to go. He’s toast. Every day listener here 🫡

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

Night time nookie
In the breakfast nook

Best,
Bert

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

I have nothing against the gays

Best,
Bert

[Lamar Jackson @Lj_era8]

It’s not about my new center🙄 stop that bs

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@Ted_Asscracker I faced my last leaf

The day I first nibbled my wife’s beef

Best,
Bert

[Samantha Marks Tasman @SamanthaSMarks]

why does Jon Rahm’s kid look like he could do my taxes

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@TedAsscracker The lightning, Teddy. I’m riding the lightning.

#zooted

@rickyticyhempy

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@g_hobknocker @DirtyMike558 @notDickCheney69 Derrick Rose the type of player to be absolutely dominate in the wheelchair basketball league his first 4 years and then experience 10 consecutive years of major mechanical wheelchair malfunctions.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@DirtyMike558 @notDickCheney69 I was a bulls fan until their mishandling of Derrick Rose. We all know artificial playing surface increases risk of ACL tear, so why didn’t they simply play on real grass? Laziness. Plain and simple.

Gotta run,
Bert

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@stevelimbosa @rickyticyhempy @GunkDaily @Midwest__sports @DirtyMike558 @DonCheadle879 @HarryDickage @hotdoglover24 @athlonbobby @sesamewolfie @AsscrackSports @GunkSylvester @HoraceGunky @bigjack82846 @notDickCheney69 I bleed Gunk sports.
And an abnormally high number of triglycerides.
Crying and puking to not see my handle in this tweet.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@stevelimbosa @rickyticyhempy @GunkDaily @Midwest__sports @DirtyMike558 @DonCheadle879 @HarryDickage @hotdoglover24 @athlonbobby @sesamewolfie @AsscrackSports @GunkSylvester @HoraceGunky @bigjack82846 @notDickCheney69 Fuck ya then

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@Midwest__sports @DirtyMike558 I’d do it all again tomorrow fellas. Can’t talk now, getting slop from @AsscrackSports ex father in law.

Best,
Bert

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@DirtyMike558 I called 1-800-BETSOFF once after a similar experience. Call didn’t go through because I had gambled the money for my phone bill the week before. Took the change from my Honda Civic’s cupholders and hit a 9 leg parlay that same night.

Keep gambling,
Bert

[Dylan Dethier @dylan_dethier]

Asked Scott van Pelt about Tiger expectations:

"Should a 46-year-old playing on a compromised leg and fused back think he should win? Well, no, but it wasn't reasonable back in 2019 that he went and beat all those guys. So I'm not putting any limits on him if he's able to play."

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

Tis the season for posting pictures of your glasses covered in soap scum. You’re off it, Dan.

[Dan Rapaport @Daniel_Rapaport]

‘Tis the season.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@ldnHawk @rickyticyhempy @Zhawk44 I fail to see how his miles per gallon is a factor in this discussion

[Dick Hempy @rickyticyhempy]

Pretty impressive these #McDonaldsAllAmericans are such prolific athletes, considering they’ve only ever eaten that rotten bullshit. That food just made my wife fat and made me allergic to nookie.

[Bert Johnson @BertJohnson86]

@rickyticyhempy I remember meeting grandpa Chuck many years ago. Did you ever get a chance to meet him @AsscrackSports ?