Oscar the Grouch

You talkin' to me?

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Not telling me something because you "don't want to piss me off" is probably the best way to piss me off.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

High Expectations Asian Dad raises the bar

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Morning texts, I like that shit.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

D.R.A.M.A. = Dumb Retards Asking for More Attention.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

9 out of 10 fingers agree, your vagina is too loose...

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

I don't hate you. I just... It's just that... Ok never mind... I hate you.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Are you single single or internet single?

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Can we make Google Poems a thing?!

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

#3Words Shut up bitch.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

People: "I love it when my boyfriend tells me he loves me." Me: "I love it when my microwave tells me my food is ready."

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Context.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?" I'm like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

I wish I could illegally download clothes.

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

If your ex says,"You'll never find anyone like me." Reply with, "That's the point dumbass".

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

A short Google poem

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

If There's One Thing I Hate About The New Year, It's Writing The Date Wrong For The First 3 Months . -_-

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

If my parents really knew me I'd be screwed...

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

工 D◯nt ﾚo√乇 ㄚ◯∪ h◯乇s...

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

TRUE 90s Kid success. I used Kazaa, Napster, Morpheus....

[Oscar the Grouch @bestofcomedy]

Girls that text first >