Parker Brice

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

I’ve recently become aware of dogs with tiny spine syndrome, and I’m not sure how to process all of this

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

5 o’clock shadow, but on my unibrow

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

I’m in a bit of a funk today. Time to watch a war documentary

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

@WMUChiefOfProp Moneyball would make my fragile ass weep right now

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

It’s raining today. I’m going to stay in, watch a Robin Williams movie, and have a good cry-sesh

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Just put 4 Zyns in at once so I could feel something again

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Dudes im such a jabroni

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

My 10:00am Zyn + Diet Coke has me operating at peak flow state

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Bar Rescue and chill?

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

You’re in her DMs, but she’s sending me her Wordle scores

We are not the same

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

@WaymoWillsBulge @RobWelch @jawwatts @drunkbuster Randy and Steve ride again

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

@Painted_Bronco @Topps @JohnCena @broncodan77 Why would you want a blank card?

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

I’m pushing “fake it till you make it” to unheard of levels this week

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

@WaymoWillsBulge No need to ask, you know the answer already

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Nothing’ll stop you in your tracks faster than a sneaking suspicion that your happiest days are behind you #keepyourfeetmoving

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Arse end of the joke since 1998

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Fucked that one up

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Slowly picking up the pieces

[Parker Brice @betaMasterBrice]

Born for night shift, forced to work 7a-3:30p