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norm

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bf hasnt msged me all day aah. been at the airbnb though

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@lesbowada so sad i stopped after episode ONE

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@seafoam_suss @mee___maw how do u even stop this from happening??? every time its happened to me its indistinguishable from a normal friend until too late and i end up self sabotaging my friendships by purposefully distancing myself bc of the emotions

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@bpdasa i nvr knew i was this bad ): im with my first bf still n i wish so badly i was with someone before him so i knew this was Me and i was this Bad

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hour lurft

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@rellmfg A🎉S🎉T🎉R🎉O thank you^_^!!! 2027 new Me.

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only one of them was a longer conversation but i never talk to strangers even slightly unless i Need to HAHA so im prouda myself

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Lowk before i left i told myself i wanna talk to strangers and ive talked to 3 Yay

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Gave the guy in the aisle seat in the row next to me my shit to hold while i put my stuff overhead and he told me good job after 😵‍💫

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got to airport early and a beautiful nice woman helped me through check in 🩷 Ilu meredith. she was like i could be ur mom 😊

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NOOOOO

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My uber to the airport

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@rellmfg thank u astro.. i agree that we should both be giving each other grace. thats what u do when u love someone and want to stay w that person. i just hope this visit helps im literally leaving in less rhan 12 hrs.. i needa sleep.. ty for all the support u offer c:

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this made me cry ugfhhhhhffb i just want my bf to care i hate myself for doing what i did to him i hate that i talked to hin how i did but i cant help but wish he had more empathy for me bc he doesnt care even whether im splitting or not he uses such mean language

[𝓞𝓴𝓴𝓾𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓲𝔁 @Okkuronix_Dmsn]

As someone who is the fp to someone with bpd you owe them the respect of at least telling them 'hey I'm here' at the MINIMUM. It's not THEIR fault they are relying on you, while it's their responsibility to try and manage it it is NOT an excuse to disrespect them. Fucking gross

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@Okkuronix_Dmsn seriously tysm i didnt qrt expecting a response from u but u have no idea how truly healing it is to know theres people like u out there n i hope i can meet my people someday. u mean so much to ur loved ones. ty for caring about us💞

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now that i see how in the wrong i was, i know i need to do a lot more healing than i originally anticipated. i dont want to be the person that knows they have this illness and refuse to accept that theyre wrong. i was wrong. i was insecure and i didnt trust him

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thats why now that hes mean to me its like. Ok well its mt fault i pushed him over the edge and most people just leave after a FEW splits and i've probably had.... i dont even wanna think about it. a lot with him. hes given me so many chances hes still here n thats why its

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but not lettig myself have a filter over what bothered me caused so many issues that i didnt notice until too late and now idk what to do. feels like i had a dormant part of my bpd where i could feel things but not show or act on emotions and now its impossible to put away

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i let myself be free and open and just ask him or bring up whenevsr something small bothered me. and i started to do it so much that i let out the terrible part of bpd where im jealous of such small things and its so embarrassing bc its not what i WANT and i HATE it

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i hatw this stuoid illness its like i KNOW i never shouldve relied on him for too MUCH reassurance but my brain thinkgs about my relationship and HIM so much that me wondering about what hes doing the amount i did feels FINE especially when he knew i had these issues n thats why