Ben G.

My job gave me business cards which basically makes me the MOST adult

[Ben G. @bg7174]

I put the "fun" in "functioning alcoholic"

[Ben G. @bg7174]

RIP the city of Philadelphia rn

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

hi I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass
[boards a commercial Boeing flight]

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Bruh a McChicken is $4

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

Beating last year’s expectations and growing our economy from the middle out and the bottom up.

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@TimThompson85 Ohhhh, for second I thought you were talking about the good girl/bad girl machine lol

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@TimThompson85 What's a vasodilator?

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Aliens: take us to your leaders!
Me: Do... do you promise to take them with you?

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Crazy how they found drugs in their house and it's not theirs, but if the found drugs in my car they're mine

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

JUST IN: Secret Services ends White House cocaine investigation with no leads

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@MetaJawn @TimThompson85 And then both vote to increase everyone's taxes to fund drone strikes on shopping cart factories in some middle eastern country no one's ever heard of that were originally started by the Cia 20 years ago

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@TimThompson85 That's why they call it gross

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Mr president, are you aware of this thing called income tax? It's biggest "junk fee" I pay every year

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

We reduced exorbitant bank overdraft fees, saving consumers more than $1 billion a year.

Let's finish the job.

Pass the Junk Fee Prevention Act to stop hotels and airlines, cable and internet companies, and online ticket sellers from ripping Americans off.

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Just because you found a rusty pile of parts that used to be a car "in a barn" doesn't make said rusty pile of parts a "barn find"

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@MetaJawn Hang up and then if anyone says anything say "my connection was cut off"

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@NickGustafson2 @VerminSupreme Well she did cheat on her husband, so

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Apparently the only way the president can get you out of jail for Marijuana possession is if the jail is in russia

[Ben G. @bg7174]

This whole thing where the black Friday "sales" are just selling it for the price it was 2 years ago is really killing my capitalism boner

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@Shoovings @TimThompson85 Oh my God this is so much better, thank you thank you thank you

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@Shoovings @TimThompson85 You can change it?! How!?

[Ben G. @bg7174]

Guess what I know for a fact the "inflation reduction act" won't do

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

Today, I signed the Inflation Reduction Act into law. It does so much of what we've fought to make happen for years like lowering costs and proving our government can work for working folks.

Here are the three major things you should know: https://t.co/7d5Dnk4bKS

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@TimThompson85 Yea but there's at least 2 more stories inside

[Ben G. @bg7174]

@TimThompson85 More or less pissed than if you were snapped out while on a plane and then snapped back in over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean where the plane was 5 years ago?