輪恐竜

✨𝙨𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮✨

i am the Roy Kent of bicycles 🚲, the Rosa Díaz of urban planning 🌆, and the Abed Nadir of dinosaurs 🦖

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

*washing machine noises*
👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

as im being dragged out of my house by the monster i refused to buy microwave insurance from, i look up to the sky, my concussion delicious, and i can hear it, the windows 98 startup sound

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

in the sludge of the internet i grasp for pearls, and when i grab one i look at it like what the fuck, an actual pearl, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, only the sludge, but the pearls! the pearls! o glory o lord, why do i lack a pagan goddess i could kiss the feet of

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

https://t.co/qQyaSVdnrn

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

also, seguramente borraré todos mis tweets y dejaré la cuenta cerrada

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

voy a estar en Bluesky principalmente de ahora en adelante

si alguien ya está allá, nice

si no, asómense, you won't regret it

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

i can excuse autism but i draw the line at boring

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

transmilenio my beloved

*transmilenio le escupe en la cara*

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

idiot

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

hace como un año me inventé @subtebog

ahora me toca inventarme más cosas

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

why does autism sometimes feel like having the galactic omniscience of a god but the cosmic powers of a potato

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

few things are lingering in my mind lately the way the Italian gymnast and her cheese photoshoot are

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

@ENTROPlA @jihyoIoops im a shallow idiot that is not enthralled by her longer hair

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

i just wanted to let everyone know that *of course* ive been coming to the lido as much as past summers ive just been way more zen about it or something i guess

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

@ivonnewrites ¡aquí bienvenida!

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

i love this so much

[Gwen!! @poodlewool]

summer has begun!!! 🏖️

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

@jayforeman i wonder if the fact that Marx lived in Hampstead at some point has had a long lasting, lingering effect

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

me: *has hair that is slightly longer than short*

people who are probably objectively right: "oh that looks nice"

me: 😬

my autism (??): cut off all of it immediately shave it now please this is unmanageable i look like a 70s rockstar with absolutely no self esteem

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

happy birthday to the redhead of my dreams, my pink soundboard of love, the very best act at the venue of my heart

[wint @dril]

asking a group chat full of beautiful 25 year old women if they have ever heard of Burger King

[輪恐竜 @bicycloraptor]

my boss during my annual review:

'so, is there any course you would like to undertake for your professional development?'

me: 'yes, yes there is'