Brendan

Body by Entenmann’s

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@theballisorange Yeah wild shit

[Sean Cranston @themoviedadsc]

Wives anytime they see their husband relaxing:

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

In Germany, a talented 14-year-old earns his club money. In America, his parents pay the club $15,000 a year.

That single inversion explains why "we will not" is the most accurate line ever written about US soccer.

FIFA built a global system for this. Training compensation and solidarity payments send a cut of every transfer fee back to the clubs that developed the player, from age 12 onward. Develop one future pro and your academy gets paid for a decade. Barcelona's La Masia, Ajax, every Bundesliga academy runs on this logic. The kid is the asset.

US Soccer refuses to enforce those rules. When Seattle's Crossfire Premier claimed its $60,000 share of DeAndre Yedlin's transfer to Tottenham, it got nothing. Claims on the Dempsey and Bradley transfers died partly because the federation couldn't even produce the youth training records.

So American clubs earn zero dollars when a kid turns pro. They earn when a kid enrolls. Which makes the parent the customer, and the product is whatever keeps the parent writing checks: travel tournaments, hotel weekends, $500 showcase events, private training at $100 an hour. Elite pathways run $8,000 to $20,000 a year. A comparable academy spot in Italy costs about 120 euros.

Follow the incentive one level deeper and it gets darker. A club dependent on fees can't cut its weakest paying players, so rosters optimize for retention over development. The scouting pool shrinks to families who can afford the cliff, which appears around age 11, exactly when development matters most. The country runs a talent filter sorted by household income instead of ability.

Every four years someone proposes fixing this. The proposal always requires the people profiting from the $15,000 model to vote themselves out of business.

They will not.

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@kourtneyinhell2 Athleisurewear has gone too far.

[i like food @messedupfoods]

Not the schlongdiments 😩

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@Amilify10mg It was me

[shark memes @SharkMemess]

Dianna Russini’s husband waiting in the car while she “follows up on a story.”

[Ziggy_Sobotka @Ziggys_Duck]

Jesus to his disciples today:

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@MyNameIsntEffy Should’ve just let her d*e

[Prairie Putz @putzisbackbaby]

No debt
Ideal weight
8 hours of sleep
Mental health on track
Right nutrition
Zero Alcohol
This was my peak. I was 8.

Good times…

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@kourtneyinhell2 Hey @grok … wait nevermind

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

MitB Contract

[Stranger News @StrangerNews11]

What do you think is in the suitcase??

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@FadeAwayMedia @POSTwrestling @jrivera84 👀

[30 for 30 @30for30]

Bo Jackson’s character in Tecmo Bowl is considered the most dominant sports video game athlete in history 🔥👀

30 for 30: ‘You Don’t Know Bo’ 🎥

[80s Sports N Stuff @80sSportsNStuff]

34 years ago today, Tecmo Super Bowl was released and our lives were better because of it…

[Pitbull @pitbull]

If the pilgrims would have killed a cat, we would all be eating pussy 4 Thanksgiving! Que ricooooooooooo HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

@Amilify10mg Finally!!

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

What’s her @ ?

[World of Science @Science_TechTV]

Professor giving evidence that endoscopy can be done without sedation or propofol

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

Daughter came home and asked me if I’m a veteran cause of Veteran’s Day tomorrow. She’s about to find out I was a No Limit Soldier in 2001.

[Brendan @bigh0rt]

I regret to inform the “teachers are indoctrinating our children” crowd that my freshmen asked me if I failed No Nut November yet.