_bool()

Stand behind the yellow line please...

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

جنیاں تن میرے تے لگیاں ، تینوں اک لگے تے توں جانے
غلام فریدا دل اُوتھے دیئیے جتھے اگلا قدر وی جانے

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

Have you heard, "Chali sanwa di haneeri, 2 anaar hil gaye..." 🤐

[Walli Potter 🇵🇰 @QaziWalli]

There is a Punjabi song that says "Pyaar di gandeeri choos lay" I CANT- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Ali Warsi - 阿里·瓦尔西 @thealiwarsi]

Chaudhry Rahmat Ali, in 'Pakistan: The Fatherland of Pak Nation' (1934), one of the foundational texts of Pakistani nationalism, declares:

"Pakistan was the birthplace of human culture and civilisation ... It was the earliest centre of the communal aggregation of human society."

Pajeet Kumar from Dravidistan: "Pakistanis call themselves Arabs, saaar 😭😭😭"

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@unicrnsoft Swearing when you don't have arguments... there's no point in criticizing brands unless there's any eco/labor/HR violations, which there are relatively very low to none... But it's not worth explaining to your half-a-brain-cell activist ass... Blocked!!

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

Gul Ahmed's textile division might be consuming 100x more water but they'll wear 'Ideas' suits and criticize a data center that uses a closed loop cooling system...

[Allie ★ @unicrnsoft]

everyone should collectively boycott and shame Gul Ahmed bcs wtf is wrong with the elite class????????

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@unicrnsoft The logic died a painful death.. your selective activism was about a data center being built by the same org whose textile business's massive environment foot print you're ignoring and focusing on something you've no knowledge about.. Cool baney k chakar main zaleel hu gayi 😭

[bintu🩶 @Hadeeyzarh]

Sex with a neighbor >>>>

Tell us your experience 🤷🏻‍♂️….

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@SirDigALot @FaisalYousaf66 It is, I think the map here might not be 100% accurate

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

Gives you pre-nut clarity 😭

[D @dasyu_zoomer]

Indian porn can be used to cure porn addiction

[M @audaciousM__]

Imran Khan's attitude as PM was higher than Himalayas and performance as PM was lower than Sara Taseer's IQ!

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@EngrImrann Bhai jab bhi hua camera k through mera helmet pe hi hua, seat belt pe kabhi nahi hua

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@mangopersn @NthngMtrs @NoorFM222 That's a recommendation, read the whole text and check the official pages for the regulatory requirements

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

@mangopersn @NthngMtrs @NoorFM222 Please also state the standards and regulations of helmet design implemented over there?

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

Bhai jab cars ke seat belt pe challan shuru hu jaien ge tu bikers bhi helmet pehan lien ge... Niklo aithon

[Fraz @NthngMtrs]

شاید آپکو اختلاف ہو مگر ہیلمٹ نہ پہننے کی وجہ صرف ضد نہیں۔ ہیلمٹ سے وزیبلٹی کم ہو جاتی ہے، پھر شدید گرم موسم میں یہ تکلیف دہ ہوتا ہے۔ حل یہ تھا کہ سرکار تمام عوامل کے مطابق ہیلمٹ ڈیزائن منظور کرتی اور پرائیویٹ سیکٹر صرف اسکے مطابق بناتا۔ مگر اشرافیہ کون سا موٹر سائیکل چلاتی ہے۔

[Ahsan Ul Haq (Economics✒️) @AhsanUlHaqRajp3]

یہ میاں نواز شریف کے گھر میلاد کی ویڈیو ہے اور سب سے اہم اسکو وقت بھی بانٹ رہا تھا اج بھی بانٹنے والوں میں ہے جبکہ عمران خان اس وقت بھی مانگنے والوں میں تھا اج بھی مانگ رہا ہے۔۔
یہ وہی وقت ہے جب میاں صاحب نے پچاس کڑور شوکت خانم ہسپتال کیلئے دیا تھا۔۔۔
50 کڑور ارب پتی ہی دے سکتا ہے

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

Story that never happened

[Abdul @ALAM_ABDULA]

Spend 2 days in Punjab and I am sorry, I have to accept, Punjab is same as it was under Usman Buzdar. Same poor infrastructure, Same open sewerage water on roads, Same garbage everywhere, Corruption is on extreme highs. It is just She has a strong PR and panaflex.

[_bool() @bilalusaf]

عمران ڈائجسٹ کا نیا شمارہ شائع ہو گیا

[Ahmad Hassan Bobak @ahmad__bobak]

🚨 میں بات نہیں کرتا لیکن آج کہتا ہوں کہ عمران خان کو قتل کر کے انہوں نے آگے کا منصوبہ بنا لیا ہے انہوں نے فیصلہ کر لیا ہے کہ عمران خان کو قتل کر کے تحریک انصاف میں سے کس کو وزیر اعظم بنانا ہے اور پھر کچھ عرصہ بعد مزید توڑ پھوڑ کر کے حکومت ختم کر دی جائے گی۔
عمران ریاض خان

[Tim @ITaimoorReal]

It was the darkest day for Pakistan’s democracy when the hybrid system was officially launched, and we are still stuck in it. May he rot in jail forever under the system he facilitated.

[Mushtaq Bilal, PhD @MushtaqBilalPhD]

Recently, a Pakistani friend of mine (we'll call him Danial) got a postdoc at the Lund University in Sweden.

We met at his office for coffee. I congratulated him and we caught up.

"I need you to do me a favor, Mushtaq," he said.

"Of course."

"Please don't tell anyone in my family or friends that I work at the Lund University," he said.

"Why? What happened?"

"Man, just don't mention where I work especially if a mutual friend asks," he said.

I was taken aback initially. But then I put two and two together and realized why he didn't want me to tell anyone about his workplace.

In Pakistan, the word "lund" means penis.

Being the reliable friend that I am, the very next day I rang up Danial's dad and eight of our mutual friends.

I told them that Danial was doing well in Sweden and dropped the name of his university ever so nonchalantly.

Things went exactly as planned.

His dad called him and asked how he was settling in at the Schlong Institute of Dick Studies.

Another friend asked Danial how his project would contribute to the research at the Weiner Academy of Sausage Sciences.

Every few days, someone from Pakistan calls him to ask how his research at the Phallus Institute of Dong Dynamics is going, or if he was looking for a permanent job at the Johnson Institute for Shaft Studies.

He has started looking for a new job.

Since Lund was causing Danial all sorts of problems I decided to help him. The poor thing took all this Lund stuff really badly.

Apparently, some of our friends tried setting him up with a beautiful British-Paksitani woman, Yasmine, who was visiting Copenhagen.

Now Danial has limited social skills when it comes to women and Yasmine was way out of his league. Yet he was able to charm her somehow and took her out for a date in a trendy restaurant in Copenhagen.

Things came to a head when she asked him where he was currently based.

"Lund," he said. "I wasn't sure initially, but now I quite like Lund."

She thought he was a closeted gay looking for a lavendar marriage and was trying to deceive her.

She got up, threw her wine in his face, and stormed out of the restaurant but not before yelling "You sick little perverted motherfucker" in the poshest British accent.

Anyway, I decided to help him get out of Lund. I asked my colleagues here in Danish academia if they were hiring any researchers.

Søren, one of my colleagues, said that he was. A marine ecologist, he had recently won a big grant to conduct research in the North Sea.

I showed Søren Danial's Google Scholar profile. He was clearly impressed.

"He's exaclty the kind of researcher we need," Søren said.

So, I rang up Danial and told him that Søren here in Copenhagen is interested in hiring him.

"Yes," He said without even letting me finish. "I'll take the job. Just get me out of Lund, man, it's hard, Lund's hard."

I told Søren that Danial was willing to accept the job. As we parted, I asked him what his research project was about.

"Effekten af ​​bundtrawl i Nordsøen," Søren replied in Danish.

In English, this means "The effect of bottom trawling in Nordic sea."

The only problem with this is that the Danish word for bottom is "bund."

In Pakistan, bund means buttocks.

Danial will join Søren's project in a few weeks.

This time around I'm not going to tell his father or our friends anything about his job.

Just kidding. I've already told them and they've started working on names like Keister Institute of Booty Sciences. It's going to be great

I also took the opportunity to update Yasmine about Danial's upcoming project on bundtrawling.

"I knew it," she said. "I already knew it."

[مبین @Miandaynaaray]

Neil Armstrong