Bean

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

in my dreams, it’s 10 years in the future. I’m at a coffee shop, where I run into the girl who dumped me. She says “wow Bean you look great!” She’s sitting there on the sidewalk begging for spare change. I’m wearing the most beautiful sun-dress ever. And I just. keep. walking. 😎

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

The inside of my vacuum, or as I call it “Spider Purgatory”

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

“Ayyy let’s get this bread”

…you sound like a duck bro 😒

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Got this tofu press and now I feel like I traveled to the tofuture… I can’t believe I used to use two cutting boards and a pile of books 😭 I have to keep reminding myself that’s all in the topast, and to stay focused on the topresent 🫡

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Hell yeah - and actually, come to think of it, fuck yeah.

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

I’m high on life, with all of its uppers and downers

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Getting ready for one crazy night!!

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Eatin Boar’s Head in this whore’s bed

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

we’re in our comfy pants :)

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

watchin jepperdy with my future wife.

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Crazy trivia fact I just heard: did you guys know that before Kanye was a raging antisemite he used to make rap music?? This blew my mind 😯

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Maturity is putting down your jungle juice and picking up the “batch cocktail”

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

patchouli gf & sandalwood bf

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Here’s an idea: instead of making the hundredth Indiana Jones movie, they should make movies about all of the other Jones. I wanna see what Utah Jones been up to 🤔

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

Those ppl with the extra bright LED headlights that look like their brights are on even though they’re not should all be rounded up and executed by firing squad

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

If you’re not 5 minutes late, you’re early

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

I’m at a bar rn and there’s karaoke happening and this super drunk girl came up to me and asked how to get on the list and I pointed at the iPad and then she said in the brattiest drunk girl voice “do it for me 🙄” hahaha idk just had to tell someone

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

@wrightdjohn @shane_pruitt78 What evidence do we have that Jesus is the son of God? And what evidence is there that Jesus said that the Bible is true?

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

@wrightdjohn @shane_pruitt78 God inspired every word in the Bible because the Bible says so?

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

@wrightdjohn @shane_pruitt78 how do you know?

[Bean @billiardbenekos]

waking up in a cold sweat at 3am: “AM I a Kroger plus customer??”