Billy Wright

Emotionally distancing

[metaphor man @shitbiscuit]

[Optimus Prime cracking his 18th beer of the night] Autobots… fuck marry kill: school bus, ambulance, fire truck

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

LeBron James

[Hater Report @HaterReport]

Black hairline spray sellers in Philly seeing LeBron and Jaylen Brown coming to the 76ers

[jo @whatsJo]

[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

you odyssey deez nutz

[Montreal Expos @Montreal_Expos]

Due to unforeseen circumstances, we have postponed our LeBron James introductory press conference indefinitely

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

paul mccartney’s first draft:

[Weapon 𝕏 @HellRaz0r1776]

People who eat gas station hotdogs watching all the salad eaters shit themselves

[Lancesico 🇱🇨 @Bornakang]

I’m gonna tell my kids this was bad boys

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

When they called a library a 'biblioteca.'

Absolute banger of a word.

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

And?

[Eric Alper 🎧 @ThatEricAlper]

"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps. End of list." - Denis Leary

[Dustin Nickerson @DustinNickerson]

Jesus to Judas when he asks who’s gonna betray him

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Edward Norton talking to himself at the USA-Türkiye game 😅

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

*you're

[Chris Oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

RIP john adams you would have loved twitter

[Dan O'Brien @OtherDanOBrien]

[Testing Cat-Human Translator]
Scientist: Cat, what is your name?
Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER
Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

My dog after eating my philosophy book