Bing the Lizard

silly goofy lizard

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

enjoy a haiku describing a current experience

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

legs they be sweaty
but long to reach and turn off
electric blanket

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

i just deadass alivebum hit my chin on my laptop and its bleeding how does that happen i was closing the lid #makeitmakesence #newton

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

all this talk about would he peel an orange for you… but reall we should be asking would he peel an ONION a MOON WRAPPED IN BROWN PAPER PROMISING LIGHT LIKE THE CAREFUL UNDRESSING OF LOVE

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

it has since been revealed to me that there arent two separate tubes for pee and poo and the buttons are just for how strong the flush is. wild

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

anyone else feel deep deep deep deep deep guilt and shame when you accidentally press the pee flush instead of the poo flush when its a poo

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit honey was the tube mean again

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

every time im not distracted i just want a belvita

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@SpeedyWunder @villageundrgrnd any1 selling a ticket pls

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit golden

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit what did you wish for?

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit that is normal it is disgusting food

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit its finally stonehenge bereal time!!!

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@lalalaiamkit keep up the good work!

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@stoptapdancing @lalalaiamkit have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation, dont feel ashamed, either of you x

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@a8dnv062jqb3940 @lalalaiamkit @susie_dent this tweet is (not) grammatically correct, and its lengthy and hard to read, it undermines the writer’s message and the word choice is bland. grammarly’s cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling understandable

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@mus33gd @beansaladpod can i have

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

bought some natural source mint shower gel… just wanna feel something 😔

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

RIP brian roger and john. all on the same day. quite weird actually

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

@RupertBGrant ikr wtf!!! woke up today thinking it would be a day like any other… open my bbc news app to see… an Aberdonian cat has survived a whole journey stuck in a car grill!!? like… wtf. my views on feline capabilities FOREVER changed.

[Bing the Lizard @bingthelizard]

fuck marry kill breakfast lunch dinner