( ノ ^o^)ノ

I am the only one who can ride that horse

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Girl like me is gonna fumble the bag more than once

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Me after 13 years of being a good dog when I suddenly decide I must be hand fed sandwiches

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Don’t worry I know what the Instagram looks like now

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

I’m trying to order surf taco online with a screen that’s half black and I keep accidentally ending up on the surf taco YouTube channel bitch take that shit off your drop down menu!!

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Soccer with coworkers that don’t like each other that much >

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Sexy to somebody

It would help me out

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

If you throw up your birth control pill because you tried to be quirky with a sugar rim I heard your baby comes out perfect

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

There’s no way that drinking a moderate amount isn’t a net positive

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

I AM FASTER THAN YOU

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

It’s always gonna be fuck the person walking next to me at the exact same speed.

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Attending a conference in the state of New Jersey now 🇺🇸

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

I’m sort of like if an untrained pitbull that dog fights could shit it’s pants

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

People just don’t appreciate how hilarious it is to look awful in public

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

@gramclaynor Liked

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

We All Have rare diseases Some of us just don’t want to know

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

One hair in my nachos shame on me but two hairs in my nachos, shame on you

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

Why don’t any of you follow my owl city fan account

[Rose @rose_jlab]

my workplace has a "wellness" room and it's just this weirdly long room that obviously used to be a storage space that looks like this

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

This tweet does not absolve you of your evilness for dating him. You are bad BAD BAD

[✨🎶Kristennnn🍉✨ @singingsox]

Really wish I could get my partner to mask during outside gigs but he said he “doesn’t have to” so I guess that’s fucking fine

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

What more could I ask.

[( ノ ^o^)ノ @bitchdisorder]

I always knew I was supposed to be a 25 year old and here I am