bailey j

[Kaden Flippen @Flippenator]

Friend: You free to hang tonight?
Me:*looks off into distance...eagle screeches in background...tear runs down face* "Im always free"🇺🇸

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

A spin off of "Keeping up with the Kardashians" but it's the Heimuli family😏 https://t.co/eXoiSXu78J

[Kar🍉 @karandaland]

Carma calls me last night and she's like "come home and help me tattoo Kenji." And that's life at the Heimuli house

[lil arab @sweatyhairy]

Hell is accidentally clicking on someone's Instagram live when it's first starting so ur the only person there n u have to marry them

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

*texts crush*
*instantly regrets everything*

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

Ever get home from a long day and think man I need chocolate milk

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

Occasionally I get cravings, mostly for chocolate, sometimes for attention.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

I still remember the word I got out on in the 3rd grade spelling bee and sometimes I still have nightmares about it.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

The longest car rides are the ones when you have food next to you that you can't eat until you get home.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

When a girl stops saying "so there's this kid" and starts saying "so there's this guy" that's how you know you've reached manhood, boys.

[lauren @deewitzy]

yo, stop what you're doing & read this thread rn https://t.co/3u4BHiXbJa

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

One day I'm gonna find my Jim Halpert.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

And if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I'd say the mom of a cute fam that gets paid to travel the world and vlog.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

I'm really good at sharing everything except for my taco bell and my crush

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

Who is naming these natural disasters? Harvey sounds more like the name of my goofy uncle and not the name of a devastating hurricane??

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

My whole childhood I prepared myself to cross a swinging bridge and I never had the chance and idk... not sad, just disappointed.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

It's not that I want my future children to have bad eye sight, it's just that prescription eye glasses on little kids are 2 cute.

[bailey j @bizzyailey]

It's just that it's mine and Parker's 200th streakversary and if you don't have a Parker in your life I feel bad for you. @parkhannifin