alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt |

22 | BPD | sëlfhärm vent account | no tw

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

not new to edtwt / shtwt just looking for more mentallyilltwt moots!

✩alex
✩22
✩ they/her
✩ endos
✩ cw: 54kg/120lb
✩bpd, drugs, autistic, obslovetwt

♥︎ /↻ appreciated!

redinktwt redjuicetwt saucefillingtwt saucetwt liquidgarnettwt snowskintwt honeybobatwt pinkpapertwt

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

i hate how the only thing that makes me okay when im upset is looking at shtwt

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

you’re just gonna leave like everyone else, aren’t you?

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

my healed cuts are so itchy

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

picking and tearing open my own flesh

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

so many styros on my arm

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

you’re just gonna leave like everyone else, aren’t you?

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

i hate my body. i hate my hair. i hate my eyes. i hate smile. i hate my jawline. i hate my chin. i hate my cheeks. i hate my nose. i hate lips. i hate my ears. i hate my boobs. i hate my fat arms. i hate my thighs. i hate my scars. i hate so much with every fiber of my being.

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

i need you to want me like i want you. i need to feel loved. i need to scream. i need to die. i need an ounce of your attention. i need you to hold me like i was something very fragile. i need to be understood. i need a lobotomy. i need to stop loving someone who can’t love me.

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

vent post
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casper please don’t read these

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

everything hurts… even your love. it feels unreal, it doesn’t feel natural. maybe i am way more afraid now than ever to let myself be loved by you… it feels like a performance. i get you don’t want me to leave but don’t lie to get me to stay. i know you don’t love me so why lie

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

i can’t believe, you thought for moment he actually liked you but no you knew this entire time that he never wanted you he just wanted to control you. he never loved you, he just wanted to destroy you with his own hands.

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

stupid, how could you be so stupid ?

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

im a pathetic loser who deserves death

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

i deserve to feel pain for being so stupid

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

@bl4ckdevoured it’s punishment time.. i’ve been so bad lately and my thighs need to atone for my mistakes.

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

i’m so touch starved that i would cry if i was held

[alex | shtwt bpdtwt obslovetwt | @bl4ckhurting]

@fvckingdizzy what kind?