brandon

gokies 1995

[Amber @bloodberry_tart]

Michelob Ultra tastes like it would be okay for a baby to drink one

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

if I were Germany, I would simply score four goals against Paraguay, like the United States men's national team

[surya @suryamidha]

roulette is basically free money if you know how to play properly. if it’s red a bunch of times in a row you know it has to be black next. also it’s always black.

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

THIS FIRES ME UP , THIS MAKES ME FEEL FUCKING EXCITED !!!!

[Karen McGee @karenmotherof2]

My body is a machine that turns domestic beers and grilled meats into respect for all of those who have served

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

getting a haircut at Great Clips feels like when a criminals bleeding out in a movie and goes to a vet

[christian @cxgonzalez]

guy who's always figured it out: "idk if i'm gonna figure it out this time"

[ً @NotJosephGarcia]

You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire

[ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴀʟ, ᴅᴀᴋᴏᴛᴀ @DEEP_RED_BELLS]

The reason my memory is totally fucked and I'm stupid as hell is because my brain has to save the RAM so it can perfectly recreate the interior of my ex girlfriend's car from seven years ago for really shitty dreams

[Audrey Horne Updates and Rumors @credenzaclear2]

dont think we have enough guys monitoring the weather situation. can we get some more guys monitoring the weather situation

[cooper @marnieapologist]

my body does not know the difference between a mistake at work and being hunted for sport

[Artichoke (COMMS FILLED) @DickPeacock11]

I’d only consider joining the military if they let me become the armored flamethrower guy who explodes when shot from behind

[basil @blis5ful]

for what the monkey considers business the horse considers play

[bende @0bendeozledim]

Damn

[💽 @gum_mp3]

Oaxacan Old Fashioned. He feels like he’s drowning. Miller highlife in the dirt of course he’s chasing it. IPAs suck kill yourself. And Bang French 75 inside corner. You’re out. you were always out you’ve been out since the day you were born

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

I'm obsessed with this "know your rights" girl on tiktok

[largest rodent @capybaroness]

i think i speak for everyone when i say that we want the new logo back!