The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈

A complicated lady. Avi by Paul X. Johnson. @slackjawhumor, @pointsincase, @csmonitor, The Funny Times. More funny at

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

[GOD INVENTING THE WEASEL]

You know what we need? An otter you can't fucking trust.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I still can’t get over that people are falling in love with computers. This isn’t Bladerunner.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

[I hear incredibly exotic bird song]

Merlin bird ID app: Robin

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I’d rather have bird legs than moth balls.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

@AngrySkycrane I tried to do the same thing and realized I HATE Charlie

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[gf sees me putting towels down before sex] incase i cry

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenneth_Belkin Do I look like I’m a part of the elite oligarch class. This was taken at a super 8 motel off I95 by the way.

[DOJA CAT @DojaCat]

hey elon if u see this please put the audio post feature back on here. Thanks, u frog build looking bitch. Barrel chested ewok u look like u eat sand.

[Dammit Bits @DammitBits]

I thought the Pope was kicking ass on Twitter and now here comes Hunter Biden.

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

We should call incels the unpussied like when we changed the name for the homeless

[mariana Z @mariana057]

Physician: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

Geena Davis is 70 years old. I’m gonna need a minute.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

How did the inventor of the vacuum know we’d be cleaning in the dark.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I’m in a Terrence Malick film

[Nature Unedited @NatureUnedited]

At an aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Can't believe it’s already June . Time flies when you work everyday of your fucking life

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

Platner is an “oyster farmer” wink wink, nudge nudge.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

@JoJoFromJerz @rachelholtmusic 😂😂😂

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

Why does everyone else's perfume linger for hours and mine disappears in 10 minutes.

[Meacham @MeachamDr]

It’s like a meth family moved in….

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

If the neighbor gets grass clippings on my newly spread mulch there will be police involvement.