Elese Malin

You're not the only one on here that thinks they're funny.

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

@zaracare there’s no link in my order email for returns and I checked out as a guest… how do I return items?

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

@elonmusk Looks like a Dalek skeleton...

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

@lippoenen 🤍🤍🤍

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

@MelindaTaub The cinematography in Mad Max Fury road was ethereal!

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

@gavinjohnadams HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎉🎉

[John Legend @johnlegend]

Please don't make this foul mouthed hashtag trend #PresidentPussyAssBitch

[comedycentral @ComedyCentral]

Nah, last time there was a joke at a debate it became president.

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

Mitch McConnell really doesn’t like the trending hashtag #MoscowMitch. But he’s brought this on himself by doing the Kremlin’s bidding on election security. If the shoe fits, well, soviet.

[Jennifer Gunter @DrJenGunter]

This is legislating malpractice and experimentation on women

[Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 @DevinCow]

Don’t RT this. Don’t reply. Copy the text below and Tweet it yourself. Flood the internet with these words:

"Year after year, Mr. Trump appears to have lost more money than nearly any other individual American taxpayer, The Times found."

[Elese Malin @bleeelity]

#ProtectTheCow

[Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 @DevinCow]

So people are mass reporting me in protest that an account they like was shut down. I hope I’m here tomorrow, but if not I need you to know how much you’ve touched my heart 💗 America was always great and we are joining hands and taking her back 🐮💗

[Elliot Page @TheElliotPage]

If you are a famous actor and you belong to an organization that hates a certain group of people, don’t be surprised if someone simply wonders why it’s not addressed. Being anti LGBTQ is wrong, there aren’t two sides. The damage it causes is severe. Full stop. Sending love to all

[josh groban @joshgroban]

Good. Pass it.

[Emily Wood @ewood02]

The silence around the execution-style murders of five women in a bank in Florida is deafening. We are *this* used to gun violence. Those women were shot in the head after being forced to lay face down. And then executed. In a bank. In America.

[Nathan Brooks @brooksnathan]

My fiancé thinks I'm the only person that does this so let's see:

RT... if you bang your straw violently on a flat surface until the end pokes through the paper and then pull it out

LIKE... if you tear the end off with your fingers and pull the straw out, no violence

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

I am starting a petition for the Democrats to let @iamcardib give the rebuttal to the SOTU. Sign it by retweeting this!

[Burger King @BurgerKing]

due to a large order placed yesterday, we're all out of hamberders.
just serving hamburgers today.

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

Gmorning.
Sending you all the love I’ve got to spare in waves, in tiny cardboard packages, in Manila folders, via owl, in secret notes, in cloud formations, in lyrics, in tweets, in WhatsApp, in whatever carrier service you need,
just pass it on