bm

all tweets are my own and very funny because i am very funny😁

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

i just told my mom that dan phil are dating and she said “well yeah that’s what makes the mornings mythical”

[alton🍉(comms open) @euclicide]

THE STRONGEST RACER OF HISTORY

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

Santa, kill this guy (@GreytheGrey) please! he just mansplanied to @IxaVerse

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

@e_mcreal no thanks

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

that was crazy 5 seconds after i tweeted that we got more breadsticks. impeccable customer service

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

@olivegarden why was i just given a single breadstick?????????? there are two of us?????

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

it’s gluten free!

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

please

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

is this too much to ask for

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

i just want a white cherry icee

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

RARE SIGHTING OF DREAMS LEFT EAR‼️😳#dreamfacereveal

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

where is dreams left ear reveal #dreamfacereveal

[mcreal @e_mcreal]

What’s happening?

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

do not drink the hydrogen peroxide in the fridge

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

days since i soiled my breeches: 1

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

@MDStateParks please tell me what hand soap y’all put in the dahlgren and gathland bathrooms please. it is the most scrumptious smelling soap in existence

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

@e_mcreal Congratulations!

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

if man got one thing it’s the audacity