bobby phoenix

ghost writer for @bmhatesacorns

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

she’s an enigma

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Went to see THE ODYSSEY in 4DX and they waterboarded three people during the Trojan Horse scene

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

where were you on 9/11? cause i was at the Kacey Musgraves concert and you were NOT there.

[bm @bmhatesacorns]

i just told my mom that dan phil are dating and she said “well yeah that’s what makes the mornings mythical”

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

@BarackObama @MichelleObama Love this 😍😍😍😍

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

How it feels to make Pinterest boards that no one views or cares about

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Hey guys! Here’s a list of emojis I am currently abusing:😟🤩🫡😐😁😖😳🤘

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

How will you guys be celebrating Valentine’s Day? Personally, I will be binging and purging!

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Complaining makes the world go round

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Tenor is a slur that I actively use

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

hot new drug alert: ice cold water

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

He’s a pair of docs

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Do you guys like your sunglasses Twilight (2008) tinted or Twilight: New Moon (2009) tinted?

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

You either like coleslaw or hate Post Malone

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Crossing my fingers and dotting my T’s

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

After I got my wisdom teeth out, I thought to myself “There’s no way I’m bouncing back from this.” Then I turned 20.

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

A can of beans is the poor man’s boba

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

It’s one things to say “you have food in your teeth.” It’s another thing to say “what’s wrong with your teeth?”

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

If you rearrange the letters in golf, it spells life.

[bobby phoenix @chargularson]

Taylor asked “Are you ready for it?” and we weren’t.

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

Peanut M&Ms are plain. Plain M&Ms are sensational.