Bennett Nelson

Aspiring obscure celebrity you didn't know was this tall

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

The original murder mystery dinner theater? The Last Supper

[shreya @shreyabasu003]

Lmao

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

@CriticalRole Can't wait for Araman Unlimited: Ghost Wars run by Aabria Iyengar

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Remember kids, stand up comedy isn't about making people laugh, it's about projecting your mommy issues onto random silent women

[Ben Bankas @BenBankas]

Triggered girl at comedy show…

[doomer @uncledoomer]

eventually were gonna have to have nuremburg trials for the gambling industry

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Hey @KentSheriff great parking job. Very efficient use of space and taxpayer dollars. I feel very protected and served

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Don't know which was a bigger marketing fail this year: the Microslop backfire or astronauts literally saying your platform is hurting their moon mission

[Curiosity @CuriosityonX]

Iconic space quotes... Apollo 11 vs Artemis II

[Rutger Bregman @rcbregman]

The New Yorker article about Sam Altman has SO many insane anecdotes. Take this one:

"As the technology became increasingly powerful, we learned, about a dozen of OpenAI’s top engineers held a series of secret meetings to discuss whether OpenAI’s founders, including Brockman and Altman, could be trusted. At one, an employee was reminded of a sketch by the British comedy duo Mitchell and Webb, in which a Nazi soldier on the Eastern Front, in a moment of clarity, asks, “Are we the baddies?”

It's incomprehensible to me how anyone with good - or even normal - ethics can still work there. How many warning signs do these people need before they realize that yes, they ARE working for the baddies?

[Lee Fang @lhfang]

Kids aren’t protesting this war because the Israel Lobby already killed free speech. Over the last two years college students protesting anything tangentially related to Israel faced blacklists from jobs, student group bans, suspensions from school, arrests and deportations.

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Me but with a Shirley Temple or chocolate milk

[serinide @webegga]

ordered a melon soda float when everyone else got a beer and i feel like that dog with the propellor hat and big lollipop

[Texas2AAttorney @CJGRISHAM]

If the Afroman trial is proving anything, it's that cops can lie about you on their police reports and get qualified immunity, but if you write a sarcastic song about cops, they'll sue you for it because they are weak spined cowards.

[Jeremy Loffredo @loffredojeremy]

If a U.S. government official wrote this article, it would violate federal classification law. A Department of Energy classification bulletin (WPN-136) bars officials from releasing information or even referencing Israel’s nukes.

In 2013, Los Alamos DOE employee James Doyle had his home raided and his security clearance revoked after referencing Israel's nukes in an academic paper.

[Secret gag order obtained through FOIA and published by the National Security Archive at George Washington University]

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

*me when I lose every award I'm nominated for* getting big marty supreme vibes from this

[📕 @SwampCommunist]

Irish ☝️

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Like yeah, maybe the problem wasn't me if these are your standards

[Bennett Nelson @bnelsonphd]

Given that the past 3 presidents all resigned in disgrace, I feel very good about my decision to transfer out of that place

[On3 @On3]

NEW: Ohio State President Ted Carter has resigned after informing trustees about an inappropriate relationship, the school announced.

https://t.co/h8nVKWuFQZ

[Justice Democrats @justicedems]

Henry Cuellar (202-225-1640)

Jared Golden (202-225-6306)

Greg Landsman (202-225-2216)

Juan Vargas (202-225-8045)

Call these spineless Dems who support Trump's new forever war with Iran & tell them to go to war themselves if they want it so bad.

[99% Johnny Graz @jvgraz]

Dan and I never saw eye-to-eye, but he really seems to be going through a rough patch lately.

I'm sure he feels blindsided right now but he shouldn't lose sight that this can happen when you turn a blind eye to the voters.

He should really keep an eye out for that.