🤡

[𝙻𝙸𝙰 𝙻𝙸𝙰 @lialiascg]

a woman I know dated a man for 5 yrs who kept saying marriage was “just a piece of paper.” she rly wanted kids and felt like she couldn’t wait any longer, so she finally left.

less than a year later, this guy proposed to someone else and suddenly started writing IG captions abt “knowing when you know” lol.

So the woman spent months asking everyone what the new woman had that she didn’t. is she prettier? younger? easier? I mean I’m not a man, so I can’t say fs, but my guess is probably nothing.

some people don’t actually change when they meet “the right person.” a lot of the time, it’s just the taxi light theory of men iykyk.

[浦島もよ @monoprixgourmet]

フェルメール展、ふかわりょうのようなミッフィー

[ter @seal_farts]

you ever meet someone and realize they’ve been getting away with this personality for years

[📹 @djdjavr]

White people passing the blunt

[mason⸆⸉ 🌊☁️ @portofino_view]

why is dick van dyke an acceptable name but pussy van faggot isn’t

[𝖐𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖇𝟔𝖗𝖇𝖎𝖊❦™️ @kushb6rbie]

microdosing hell by going to work

[jamie ▴ @linkkling]

who decided a piano player should be called a Penis

[popcultureangel @lohanisgod]

madonna partying in brazil after her divorce, 2008

[thomas™ @mylifeasthomas_]

Not feeling great today just gonna set a monster on the timeline and pass

[Integrity Guy @Integrity_Freak]

No ma’am, I don’t have a boarding pass. I’m simply here to enjoy the world famous dining and nightlife at O’Hare International Airport

[La China @ChinaNipona]

Una versión de Mario Bross discapacitado?
Creo que ya puedo morir en paz...

[𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓪 ˚.🎀༘⋆ @Laura_arma_ni_]

me & my bestie finally on that vacation we been planning for 30 years

[danny @d4nnytye]

experiencing the l’occitane shower oil while staying at someone’s house and feeling a throbbing urge for upward social mobility the rest of the day

[Hunadi M @HunadiFlorah]

One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and say you’re the mother

[Spider-Man @JavierSkylark]

@djmommytrance drip or drown

[suze @cortadoedison]

Oh no psilocybin for me, thanks, I’m already open minded and curious and try new things to foster neuroplasticity all the time.

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

economy so bad u might as well follow your dreams and see what happens

[nn. @eternaldroplets]

rather than touching grass, i recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

[Pearl Rose @hipearlrose]

millennials and gen z cant afford to have kids but thats okay because all our parents are regressing into ipad babies so im busy monitoring my mother’s youtube history and keeping her off cnn