Bob

Just assume everything i say is made up

[Bob @bobtherandomguy]

I'm basically a fanfiction writer who lacks the patience to actually write fanfiction so instead I use the miniscule character limit of Twitter to dole out scenarios so they stop rattling around in my brain

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

When a Midwestern person wants to leave, here’s what we say.

*slap both knees* “welp, I ‘spose it’s that time” = we’ve been small talking delaying the fact it’s time to go

“Well, I’ll let you go” = used on a phone call to politely say it’s time to hang up

“We need to get together more often” = this is plenty, we do not.

“Tell your folks I say hi” = one more pleasantry before leaving

[Lost Internet @LostMemeArchive]

NBA Jam had hidden code that made the Chicago Bulls miss last-second shots against the Detroit Pistons.

The creator was a Pistons fan.

So if the Bulls tried to win at the buzzer against Detroit, the game quietly sabotaged them.

Petty coding at an elite level.

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

The easiest way to tell if someone is from the Midwest is to see if they apologize when bumping into an inanimate object

[Pokemon Posts @PkmnPosts]

ash’s pokemon coming out of their pokeballs to keep ash warm during the storm 🥹

[Tekee @Tekeee]

“Nobody wants to work anymore”

Personally, I never wanted to work in the first place.

[Bob @bobtherandomguy]

@midwestern_ope Even Columbus?

[wayne @wayneisboss]

One thing that sucks about having grown up on the English dub of Digimon is just how elitist a lot of other Digimon fans are.
Like yes, I KNOW the original is better, I KNOW Saban was shady and added in stupid unnecessary stuff but there was some good stuff in there too

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

At a divorce paper signing…

WOMAN: I regret ever joining that Star Wars dating app
MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places
WOMAN: And I really regret marrying a Star Wars pun addict
MAN: It was a wookie mistake
WOMAN: Just sign it
MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you

[🇨🇦 David Clive Elliott 🫐 @ProfAvenarius]

@AndrewZywiecMD @IanCopeland5 Given that insipid post, the question is who got you in to med school? Those that protest DEI the most are those can't compete without daddy's connections.

[Bob @bobtherandomguy]

@S4R41_K44R @GeorgiaSaltLife @Thiss_Youu Now to be fair Trump has proven himself to also be a global pandemic

[صدى @ArabianBatboy]

"Bring Your Digimon Partner to School Day!"

{#Digimon #DigimonFanart #DigimonTamers #Beelzemon #Beelzebumon}

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here. I'll go on a head."

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass".

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion .

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per passenger."

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron". The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

🤣🤣🤣

[Bob @bobtherandomguy]

@BraddrofliT The part where he has a tantrum and flips a table seems vaguely familiar

[ひつき @hitsuki0925]

２４周年おめでとう！どうしてもエンシェントグレイモンを描きたかったので、この構図にしました。
#デジモンフロンティア

[Old Salty Marine @BamaSaltyMarine]

Teacher: "Joe, if you were a date and had to go to
the bathroom,what would you say?"

Joe: "Just a minute, I have to go pee."

Teacher: "Rude!"

Teacher: "Mark, your turn."

Mark: I'm sorry, I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.

Teacher: "Better... but still

Teacher: "Johnny, use your brain this time!"

Johnny: "Darling, may I be excused for a moment?
I must shake hands with a very dear friend of mine... whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner "

Teacher: Faints!

[SuperSisi @SuperSisi]

The perfect garlic holder doesn’t exi-

[ヨッシ🐦U M R - Daily Digimon Memes @yoshi_UMR]

Cozy buddies

[もずめ(もち垢)￤動物skeb @mon_ster_s]

デジモンセイバーズ本編には
｢人間(大人)のお膝の上で哺乳瓶ミルクをもらってるガチ赤ちゃんトコモン」
なんて子がおりまして…‼️(模写)

#デジモンセイバーズ
#セイバーズ20周年
#デジモン #digimon