Brendan O'Donoghue

Grew up in Ireland. Played drums for years, enjoy writing and mostly stand up comedy - just having the craic.

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Crimea holds a referendum about a "sex session" with the Ukraine. I suspect they'll want to withdraw and jump into bed with the Russians!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

If we are all space dust babies - the spawn of the big bang - even the most untalented person on this planet has star quality!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

If you're not psychic how come you get upset when things don't work out like you planned and you tell us all how right you are when they do?

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

If Britain sends a warship to Gibraltar over a six mile traffic jam, then they should send the rest of the fleet to the M25!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

My 55 year old neighbor "Psycho Bill" still lives with his parents. Their buried under his patio!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

I said to my teenage son " You're right. You are stupid; lazy; ugly and useless but that's no reason to put yourself down!"

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

North Korea's nuclear detergent does exactly what it says on the tin "Kills all known bacteria and everything else on the spectrum of life!"

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Hawai 5 - 0? who were they playing?

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Scientist's have discovered an alien race that shag 24/7 - they live on a distant porn star!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

What do you call a nun who swoops down from the sky and grabs rabbits in her hands - a bird of pray!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Did you hear about the atheist that went to heaven? Neither did I.

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

I saw a book today ventriloquism for dummies!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Research has shown men with big ears are more fertile. Frankly if they're ugly it doesn't matter!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Andrew Mitchell - plebs defined as a Person Lacking Everyday Basic Skills. Sums him up really!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Space travel! Is there any other kind of travel?

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Talk like a pirate day - so I will be talking like a Casino Banker!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

Just got "Rima" by The Headhunters free track for tweet http://t.co/vofr2zvA

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

@Hurly_Burly Martin I tell you looking at that Avatar - that sheep must be really shagged by now. You've proved to me you are a stud!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

The Shard as it disappears into low lying cloud looks like a stage prop for the panto Jack and the Beanstalk!

[Brendan O'Donoghue @bodongh]

All hail Emperor Boris different class. What a showman - brilliant utterly brilliant. Dave Cameron must be gritting his teeth in envy :)