2 eggs 1 pan

that’s all it is | @loveblaster_wi

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

if god loved us we wouldn’t have to wipe

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

always some mf slowly unloading 14 things onto the roof of their car before then slowly reloading all of those things back into their arms

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

getting to work on time (instead of early) sucks bc everyone is getting there at the same time and i’d rather be late than have to walk in at the same time as someone else

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

i’m hearing small talk in the garage behind me and i know i’m making a good choice by hiding. but every time someone walks their ass through the door here comes another car, with another ass inside waiting to walk inside as slowly as possible

[jo @whatsJo]

Oh I get it. Fun onions.

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

if i’m being honest, 6 seems like a fucked up number of faces for a cube to have

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

we as a society need to have a conversation about shared spreadsheet etiquette but none of you fuckers are willing to hear it. i’m SICK of it SAVE WITH AN APPROPRIATE CELL SELECTED PLEASE

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

comedy bang bang is the best show in the world

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

i was bummed my airpods were dead and i couldn’t wear them in goodwill but god rewarded me for being brave by playing LCD soundsystem on the radio :)))) <33333

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

@flickyournic what the fuck you’re old

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

ik this will be unpopular but i HATE when ppl use scissors or, god forbid, KITCHEN KNIVES to open packages. box cutters are so cheap and small and easy to have and they work 100 times better and they don’t gunk up and dull your scissors and KNIVES USED FOR FOOD???

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

@twilightIuv3r really trying to think of a joke about this sounding like a jamaican accent without being inappropriate

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

NYT Games please hire me i have LOTS of ideas for how you can improve the stats and social aspect of your games thank you

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

@twilightIuv3r oh nooooooo you didn’t say exactly precisely what you meant with enough detail to leave no question as to your intention :( almost as if it’s the internet and it doesn’t actually matter and you didn’t actually say anything rude or disparaging :(

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

i wish every single person i know and also every single person on the planet would (and could) see a therapist :(

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

if i’m being completely honest, people liking the movie bridesmaids makes me feel like i’m on a really elaborate and niche and fruitless prank show

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

make all the classist or ableist or whatever accusations you want but the fact that some people still drink hot coffee from a plastic cup repulses me to my core

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

it’s so annoying/embarrassing to find out you have a mental disorder bc it’s having a “moment” on social media. esp one that already makes u think you actually don’t have it & ur actually lying and now that it’s trendy everyone (including yourself) will think that even MORE lol

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

i don’t understand why peanut butter pudding isn’t a thing tbh

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

restaurants should ask you how you want your bacon cooked the same way they ask about a steak. i would like mine WIGGLY thank you very much i’m sick of crispy bacon supremacists

[2 eggs 1 pan @boobyhaver]

@jacksonbunz it took me until this year to actually believe that you drink now