Whit

[Whit @boon2017]

@BuzzPatterson He's a dangerous moron. I don't really care how he talks

[Whit @boon2017]

@withfurtherado @adamcarolla Except...not. moron

[Chef Joe Gera 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇮🇹 @redhotnerd]

You were vaccinated. Multiple times. How do I know?

Because I cooked an event you attended in early 2022. The venue’s policy was: if you wanted to attend unmasked, you had to be vaccinated (this didn’t stop until April that year at this venue). You also had to RSVP well in advance and provide a negative COVID test before the event. So if you were there, you met those requirements. But by all means, keep bullshitting.

[Whit @boon2017]

@txsalth2o It's about corruption dumb ass

[Whit @boon2017]

@ctc8910 @MiaForTrump Hanging Chad

[Whit @boon2017]

@BlackLabelAdvsr Greatest country my ass.

[Whit @boon2017]

@EQuinones6310 Have some humility. We still have more to learn from the Europeans than they from us

[Whit @boon2017]

@TheAmishTerp @JasonLaCanfora Moron.

[Whit @boon2017]

@linda_acosta @TheBushCenter "millions of dollars" horse shit. And you're apparently okay with dear leader grifting billions while in office

[Whit @boon2017]

@alexonthebayou @TheBushCenter @POTUS #bot

[Whit @boon2017]

@Yochanacat6 @TheBushCenter @guypbenson #bot

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

The president has no redeeming qualities. None

[Whit @boon2017]

@TerryC40058623 @nexta_tv Idiot. Let it go. This is Trump/Hegseth's disaster

[Whit @boon2017]

@DundeeDolphin @Jason_Sarney Or both

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

One thing I’ll remember most about this time in history is that it was all preventable, but members of Congress were too fucking spineless to actually do their jobs

[Trill Clinton @aStatesman]

You IDIOTS elected a conman to presidency, not once but twice, and now look at you. Can’t afford gas, farms going bankrupt, masked men shooting Americans in the streets, and your kids are dying in Iran to distract from the EPSTEIN Files. While his family makes BILLIONS. DUMBASSES

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the word "pinpoint."

I appeared on Truth Social at 11:47 AM Eastern on February 28, 2026.

The president typed me in capital letters.

"The heavy and pinpoint bombing, however, will continue."

I was between "heavy" and "bombing."

Nobody asked me how I felt about the company I was keeping. "Heavy" is not a word I have ever been seen with socially. We have nothing in common.

I am the opposite of "heavy." That is my entire purpose. I was placed between "heavy" and "bombing" the way a mint is placed on a pillow in a building that is on fire.

I have a definition. It means precise. Exact.

A single point on a map, no larger than a pin. I have been in the English language for three hundred years. I have never once been used correctly in a Pentagon briefing. "Surgical" would like a word with me about this claim. "Surgical" and I have a support group. We meet on Tuesdays. "Collateral" comes sometimes but does not stay long. "Collateral" has a different problem. "Collateral" means what they use it to mean. I do not. I am a receipt for a purchase that was never made.

I also appear in Department of Defense Directive 3000.09. I did not audition for this role. The directive was revised in January 2023. It governs autonomous and semi-autonomous weapon systems — I need to pause here because I do not enjoy the phrase "semi-autonomous weapon systems." "Semi-autonomous" means a machine does the aiming and a human does the approving. I am the word that is supposed to describe what happens after the human approves.

The human looks at the satellite image. The human says: that is a naval base. That is not a school. The Pentagon calls this "human in the loop." I am what the loop is for. I am the quality control stamp on a process I have never supervised.

On February 28, at 10:45 AM Iran Standard Time, a missile struck the Shajareh Tayyebeh all-girls primary school in Minab, Hormozgan province. One hundred and seventy students were inside. The girls were between seven and twelve years old. They were changing classes. The hallway was full.

One hundred and forty-eight of them died.

I am "pinpoint." The pin hit a school.

The school was adjacent to an IRGC naval base. Hormozgan province borders the Strait of Hormuz. The base was a military target. The school was not. They are next to each other. I am the word that is supposed to mean the difference between the two. The difference was forty meters. Forty meters is the length of a swimming pool. It is the distance a human being can walk in forty-two seconds. It is the entire gap between a legitimate military target and one hundred and seventy children. I was not forty meters. I was a tweet.

CENTCOM said they were "looking into" the reports. "Looking into" is not a phrase I associate with. "Looking into" is what you say when you have not looked. I am "pinpoint." I am supposed to mean that the looking happened before the striking. The looking did not happen before the striking. The looking is happening after the dying. This is not how I work. This is how I am used.

I had a busy day on February 28.

At 10:45 AM in Minab, a missile landed on a school. At 11:47 AM in Florida, the president called it "pinpoint." And at some point that same day in San Francisco, OpenAI announced a contract with the Pentagon promising that artificial intelligence would never make a lethal decision without a human verifying the target first. Cleared engineers. Classified networks. The phrase in every briefing slide: "human in the loop." The product of the loop is supposed to be me.

There was a human in the loop on February 28. The loop worked exactly as designed.

The loop produced me. I landed on a school.

I would like to be excused from the loop.

Anthropic had red lines for AI safety. Strict ones. Binary. If capability outpaced safety, you stop. You pause the model. You do not proceed until the safety catches up. This was the only framework I respected. In 2026 they revised it. The red lines became "flexible evaluations." The binary became a spectrum. I am "pinpoint." I am a binary word. I either landed where I was supposed to or I did not. "Flexible" is a word that belongs near yoga. Near scheduling. Near rubber. Not near the question of whether a machine should be allowed to decide who dies.

Three systems designed to guarantee that I mean what I say. The directive says human in the loop. The contract says human in the loop. The president says "pinpoint." The human was in the loop. The directive was on the books. The contract was signed. I have never had more institutional support.

I have never landed further from my definition.

Sara Shariatmadar was six years old. Second grade. Her father stood outside the rubble and did not speak. His hands knotted together, then separated, then knotted again. He waited for her name to be called.

Fatima al-Zahra Mohammad Ali was nine. Fourth grade. Her family did not learn she was dead until 4 PM, when her body was found under the concrete.

Zeinab Mirkhayali was nine. Fourth grade. She had memorized the Quran. She was preparing to compete in a recitation competition in Tehran in two months. Her head was crushed by falling stones. Her father said: "My dream died with her."

I am "pinpoint." I do not know these names. I was not in the room when these names were alive. I was on Truth Social. I was in all caps. I was between "heavy" and "bombing." I was in a Pentagon contract promising humans would always verify where I land. I was doing my job, which is to make the sentence sound like the bomb knew where it was going.

The bomb did not know where it was going. The human in the loop did not know where it was going. The contract promising AI would always have a human checking did not know where it was going. Everyone was in the loop.

The loop landed on a school.

The Washington Post verified footage of the destroyed school. They noted there was no independent confirmation of the casualty numbers. This is what verification looks like in 2026: the rubble is confirmed. The children are pending. The school is verified destroyed. The lives are unverified dead. If I worked correctly, there would be nothing to verify.

Euro-Med Human Rights Monitor called it "profoundly reprehensible" and "among the most severe attacks on a civilian educational institution." They noted that the presence of military facilities elsewhere in the province "does not alter the school's civilian character." The school was a school. The school is rubble. I am the word that was supposed to keep one from becoming the other.

I am a seatbelt made of language. I did not hold.

Parents dug through the concrete with their bare hands. The rescue teams used building cranes. The cranes came after the hands. The hands came after the missile. The missile came after the human in the loop. The human in the loop came after me.

I am "pinpoint."

I was typed with two thumbs on a phone in Florida.

I was signed into a contract in San Francisco.

I was written into a directive in Washington.

I landed on a school in Iran.

[Whit @boon2017]

@Shenaniglenns @legallyminded Level: stupid easy

[Whit @boon2017]

@YourAnonCentral Gee, I guess it's complicated

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am a diplomatic aide in the Sultanate of Oman's Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

My job is logistics. When two countries that cannot speak to each other need to speak to each other, I book the rooms. I prepare the briefing materials. I make sure the water glasses are the right distance apart. You would be surprised how much of diplomacy is water glasses. Too close and it feels informal. Too far and it feels like a tribunal. I have a chart.

We had a very good month.

Since January, Oman has been mediating indirect talks between the United States and Iran on Iran's nuclear program. The talks were held in Muscat and in Geneva. The Americans would sit in one room. The Iranians would sit in another room. I would walk between them. My Fitbit says I averaged fourteen thousand steps on negotiation days. The hallway between the two rooms at the Royal Opera House conference center is forty-seven meters. I walked it two hundred and twelve times in February. This is good for my cardiovascular health. It was less good for my knees. Both are in the service of peace.

By mid-February, we had something.

Iran agreed to zero stockpiling of enriched uranium. Not reduced stockpiling. Zero. They agreed to down-blend existing stockpiles to the lowest possible level. They agreed to convert them into irreversible fuel. They agreed to full IAEA verification with potential US inspector access. They agreed, in the Foreign Minister's phrase, to "never, ever" possess nuclear material for a bomb. I have worked in diplomacy for seven years. I have never seen a country agree to this many things this quickly. I made a spreadsheet of the concessions. It had fourteen rows. I color-coded it. Green for confirmed. Yellow for pending. By February 21 the spreadsheet was entirely green. I printed it. It is on my desk in Muscat. It is still green.

That phrase took eleven days. "Never, ever." The Iranians initially offered "not seek to." The Americans wanted "will not under any circumstances." We landed on "never, ever" at 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in Muscat. I typed the final version myself. I used Times New Roman because Geneva prefers it. The document was fourteen pages. I was proud of every comma.

Here is what they said, in the order they said it.

February 24: "We have a once-in-a-generation opportunity." — The Foreign Minister, private briefing to Gulf Cooperation Council ambassadors. I prepared the slide deck. Slide 14 was the implementation timeline. Slide 15 was the signing ceremony logistics. I had reserved the Palais des Nations in Geneva, Room XX. It seats four hundred. We discussed pen brands for the signing. The Iranians preferred Montblanc. The Americans had no preference. I ordered twelve Montblanc Meisterstucks at six hundred and thirty dollars each. They arrive on Tuesday.

February 27, 8:30 AM EST: "The deal is within our reach." — The Foreign Minister, CBS Face the Nation. He sat across from Margaret Brennan. He said broad political terms could be agreed "tomorrow" with ninety days for technical implementation in Vienna. He said, and I wrote this line for the briefing card he carried in his breast pocket: "If we just allow diplomacy the space it needs." He praised the American envoys by name. Steve Witkoff. Jared Kushner. He said both had been constructive.

I watched from the Four Seasons Georgetown. The minibar had cashews. I ate the cashews. They were nineteen dollars. The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten. But it was a good morning and we were within our reach.

February 27, 2:00 PM EST: Meeting with Vice President Vance, Washington. The Foreign Minister presented our progress. Zero stockpiling. Full verification. Irreversible conversion. "Never, ever." The Vice President used the word "encouraging." His aide took notes on an iPad. The aide did not make eye contact for the last nine minutes of the meeting. I noticed this. Noticing things is the only part of my job that is not water glasses.

February 27, 4:00 PM EST: "Not happy with the pace." — President Trump, to reporters.

Not happy with the pace.

We had achieved zero stockpiling. Full IAEA verification. Irreversible fuel conversion. Inspector access. And the phrase "never, ever," which took eleven days and cost me two hundred and twelve trips down a forty-seven-meter hallway.

Every American president since Carter has failed to get Iran to agree to this. Forty-five years.

Not happy with the pace.

February 27, 9:47 PM EST: The Foreign Minister's flight departs Dulles for Muscat. I am in the seat behind him. He is reviewing Slide 14 on his laptop. The implementation timeline. Vienna technical sessions. The signing ceremony. The pens.

I fall asleep over the Atlantic. I dream about water glasses.

February 28, 6:00 AM GST: I wake up to push notifications.

February 28: "The United States has begun major combat operations in Iran." — President Trump.

Operation Epic Fury. Coordinated airstrikes. The United States and Israel. Tehran. Isfahan. Qom. Karaj. Kermanshah. Nuclear facilities. IRGC bases. Sites near the Supreme Leader's office. Israel called their half Operation Roaring Lion. Someone in both governments spent time choosing these names. Epic Fury. Roaring Lion. I spent eleven days on "never, ever." They spent it on branding. The President said Iran had "rejected American calls to halt its nuclear weapons production."

Rejected.

Iran had agreed to zero stockpiling. Iran had agreed to full verification. Iran had agreed to "never, ever." Iran had agreed to everything in a fourteen-page document that I typed in Times New Roman.

The President said they rejected it.

I do not know which document the President was reading. I know which one I typed.

February 28, 18:45 UTC: Iran internet connectivity: four percent. — NetBlocks, confirmed by Cloudflare. Ninety-six percent of a country went dark. You cannot negotiate with a country at four percent connectivity. You cannot negotiate with a country that is being struck. You cannot negotiate. This is not a political opinion. This is a logistics assessment.

February 28: The governor of Minab reported forty girls killed at an elementary school.

I do not have logistics for that. There is no slide for that. The water glass chart does not cover that.

February 28: Lockheed Martin: up. Northrop Grumman: up. RTX: up. Dow futures: down six hundred and twenty-two points. Gold: five thousand two hundred and ninety-six dollars. An analyst at AInvest published a note titled "Iran Strikes: Tactical Plays." The note recommended positions in oil, defense stocks, and gold.

The most expensive cashew I have ever eaten was nineteen dollars. The most expensive pen I have ever ordered was six hundred and thirty dollars. The math suggests I have been working in the wrong industry. Defense stocks do not require water glasses. Defense stocks do not require eleven days. Defense stocks require one morning.

February 28: Israel closed its airspace and its schools. Iran launched retaliatory missiles toward US bases in the Gulf. The Supreme Leader promised a "crushing response." Israel's defense minister declared a permanent state of emergency. Everyone is using words I recognize in an order I do not. I recognize "permanent." I recognize "emergency." I do not recognize them next to each other. In diplomacy, nothing is permanent and everything is an emergency. In war it is the reverse.

February 28: The Foreign Minister has not made a public statement.

The briefing card is still in his breast pocket. It still says "within our reach."