Carson Phillips

ENFP • Dam Enthusiast • UA '19 • loyal Jack’s customer • invests in Kohl’s cash • Rick’s BBQ is a household name

[The Gospel Coalition @TGC]

God hasn’t designed marriage as a means to meet our personal needs. Assuming marriage is about meeting needs is dangerous. https://t.co/11HSgmKBaz

[slick @dlicj]

just saw a vacant lot. like what are we waiting for with this lot? fill the lot already

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Mass Confusion At Polls After Voting Machines Fail To Display Candidates' Party Affiliations
https://t.co/vrjg7S4T9b

[Nick Saban @sabanfaux]

I need this in shot form so I can inject this into my veins...

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Migrant Caravan Mysteriously Disappears But Leaves Behind Cool Wooden Horse
https://t.co/xkKRaOGboL

[RC @Rodcox84]

Y’all ! This might be the funniest thing I have ever saw in my life

[slick @dlicj]

(guy comes up to use the urinal next to me) sorry this one’s saved. my buddy’s on his way

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@jaredjames21 This needed to be said! You’re so brave for speaking up and saying this!! #myhero

[slick @dlicj]

can’t get enough of the classics

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@Blake_aRogers @BioLayne Stop going through my profile and stop emailing my wife

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@BioLayne Actually it’s simple thermodynamics: When you intake more than you expend, you expand

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@Blake_aRogers @BioLayne Wrong

[slick @dlicj]

coworker: enjoy your labor day weekend
me: i will because of the extra day

[bobby @bobby]

if i were a soccer guy i would probably try to kick the ball into the goal instead of twelve feet above it. you get more points if you kick it right in there.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Those who proclaim themselves “socialists” are usually depressing, have no sense of humor & attended an expensive college. Fate loves irony.

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@roastedsoisauce @TheAliceSmith @jordanbpeterson “If you intake more than you expend, you expand”. True for superheated high pressure vessels AND eating

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@AP Nice

[Carson Phillips @boss_phillips13]

@jordanbpeterson “Flexible grading system”....yeah cause that’s who I want building my bridges. Kind of hard to work social justice into thermodynamics and fluid mechanics, but maybe I’m just being insensitive. Wonder how long before Newton’s Laws are “just opinion”.