BostonsWinest

Just two single chicks living it up bringing you the humor in our lives. #LittleStoriesOfOurLives 👯🦄🍷

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

*67 does still work. But now it Shows as Spam since everyone has caller ID. Should have thought that through before these white claws and whisky.

[Minnesota Wild @mnwild]

Row the Boat, Ski-U-Mah, Go Gophers!

Bring Floyd back home where he belongs! 🐖

#OneMN | @GopherFootball

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Q: Do you want a mimosa?
A: no, just a Mo. Mimosa hold the orange juice.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

We might have gone a little MIA for a while, but don’t worry. You’re two favorites are back. #bostonswinest

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

The guy next to me just cut his French fries in half. With a fork and knife. What is this? #ocanada

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

And then to try fishing: God put fish in the water for a reason. If he wanted them out he would have made them land animals.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

My response to people asking me to go camping: they made Hilton’s for a reason, use them.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

My dad just said “I need to build the new bar right so we can get lit” ....

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

The reason I’m not 400 pounds is because they wrap starbursts individually.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

I have yet to be able to figure out how to adjust the temperature of my shower. Today I essentially took a steam shower because it was so hot. And my soap just evaporated right down my body and into the drain. #american

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

I feel like Hillary Duff in The Lizzie McGuire movie when she’s riding around on the back of a scooter taking in the scenery. Except that I’m in Spain, in the back of a cab, and my driver and I can’t communicate. #vacation

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Raise your hand if the latest This is Us actually pulled at your heart strings and may have killed your emotional well being for the next several days.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Johnny Weir looks like he is about to announce the Hunger Games, not figure skating.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Don’t understand the new Snapchat, don’t understand my life.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

I found videos on my phone that I have no memory of taking while I was drugged up during a procedure of my dentist singing Moana to me. I have a crush on him now.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

I missed free bagel day at Brueggers by 3 hours. I am distraught. Today is ruined.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Just kicked some dumb girl out of my uber she was trying to steal. Power move to start off my Friday night.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

Last night when I was drunk, I stared at the sausage in the fridge and wondered why they wouldn’t talk to me.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

My life deserves to be a fucking comedy.

[BostonsWinest @bostonswinest]

*Hears crash*
“Someone should check on mom to make sure she’s awake, alert and enthusiastic.”