Sam Barlow

Maker, cat person, arcane enthusiast, general weirdo. Owner @the_laserpanda & roller derby announcer @pandora_monium.

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

.@DraytonManor hardly any kiosks open and painfully slow ride operations today. Gutted we won't have chance to fit everything in 😢

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

Well that's a resolution I can get on board with! 😊 #thankYou

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

You have GOT to be shitting me @Morrisons!!! What is the point of pre-ordering party food if you're not going to send it!!! 🤬🤬🤬

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Workplace lies:

“I was just about to reply”
“Sorry I'm late”
“I'll get right on it”
“I'll try my best”
“It’s on my list”
“I haven't had time”
“Kind regards”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Various ways a British person responds to being deeply insulted:

“Bit harsh”
“There’s no need for that”
“Unnecessary”
“Mate…”
“That’s your opinion”
“Oh cheers!”
“Thanks a bunch”
“I beg your pardon”
“Steady on”
“Well…”
“Have you quite finished?”
“Fair enough”
“That’s uncalled for”
“Bit rude”
“I’ll put the kettle on”
“Wow”
“Anything else?”
“Right-o”
“Thanks for your honesty”
“And you’re sure about that?”
“Blimey”
“Yeah, well, you’re not perfect either”
“Charming”
“I see”
“I’m sorry you feel that way”
“Sorry”

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@TheFloodDefence

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@WastedElegance @blokealex

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@Andypop25348504 @mrjamesob @CryptoFarmer44

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

Does your workplace have a standard 'Return to Work' procedure? What does it look like?

[𝔚𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔥𝔶 @thxgworkout]

no but why does the cat have a scouse accent? someone anyone tell me you hear it too 😭😭

[innocent drinks @innocent]

Instead of waiting for the clocks to go forward an hour on Sunday, why don't we just call it now and take a two-hour lunch?

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@innocent

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

Sad news in @innocent land but fully swooning over the marketing/media team 👏🥰 #SoLong #Farewell

[innocent drinks @innocent]

NUTTERLY DISAPPOINTING NEWS
We're sad to say that our dairy free range will be leaving shelves in the next few weeks.

We know some of you really love our coconut, hazelnut and almond drinks, so we wanted to say a big thanks for buying them. We really appreciate all five of you.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘circumbendibus’ (17th century): anything that deliberately goes round and round without ever getting to the point.

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@SoVeryBritish Did anyone come here thinking of @DaveGorman?! #mindbottling

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

FYI same in browser as app 😒

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

@AmazonHelp are you experiencing technical difficulties? Getting repeated errors trying to cancel a subscribe and save order, nor can I actually buy an item that's sitting in my basket - screen keeps reloading back to basket when I hit Buy Now or Proceed to Checkout 🤷‍♀️

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

Yeah it did.

[Sam Barlow @bournese]

Ooft 😅

[Clive Lewis MP @labourlewis]

.@Neal_Compass: “The choice between a terrible party and a less terrible one is no choice at all – not when the planet burns, and people are starving.”
https://t.co/aNjUqEUfuC