Michelle “Liam’s Mom”

Mrs. The Big Bucks

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

(Smugly) Actually your friend 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒅 himself

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

I’m kind of the Michael Jordan of freelancing (gambling all day)

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

And I should be one of them

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Sex parties should have announcers

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Cookie Monster decorating:

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Is there an option to stay a caterpillar

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

I wouldn’t be excited about being in a witness protection program, but I do think I could get used to it. Oh, now I’m Laura who works at the gas station? Fine by me

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

My dad has a pretty good bit where he says “Oh NO! Not the scariest ever, Jason Bateman!” whenever he’s cast as a villain. Covering his eyes “this guy gives me nightmares”

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

This is how I need to be talking

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Are fairies women

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Joseph Gordon-Levitt; Maybe we don’t even have to look alike? Suspend disbelief, ya know?
Rian Johnson: Joe.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Yeah. I figured. But hey. Now everyone gets to see what I’d look like as young Bruce Willis, right?
Rian Johnson (in way too deep): Yes. Yes we do

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

In the pre check line asking if I can take off my shoes anyway

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

@gronbus Absolutely

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Alex Honnold has an abnormality in his amygdala that makes him a bitch

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

It must have felt so awesome to come up with the idea “Cookie Monster”

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

If I was in a band I would love getting to say stuff like “I am on vocal rest due to Tour”

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Oh Latin is a written language? Then how am I speaking it to a flight attendant

[Caitlyn deGrasse Tyson @c8smith24]

I’m like the Equalizer if he was a beautiful girl who wasn’t very courageous

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Not now kitten, daddy's busy fostering a hostile work environment

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

Spitting up on myself in the spirit tunnel

[Michelle “Liam’s Mom” @boymommindset]

I’m not gonna like change careers or anything, but I think i would be a good genie. I would like hanging out in the lamp