jaq

my life a ytp

[Vials @hisbelovedsleep]

Better to have fumbled the bag than Bumble’d the fag

[DEI speedwagon (all eyes on Cuba) 🌹🇵🇸 〽️ @uhshanti]

but they were all of them deceived, for a third Twin Tower was made

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

Carbon dioxide is kinda like oxygen’s wario

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

when i got the dvd belt buckle on you know i’m bouncing around that box

[Jack Profound @godisangryatme]

Asking the 17 year old stocker if they carry this in a men’s XL

[charles @Prioneye]

What about 5 inches and kind

[Timmy :) @Timmyd124]

don’t be coming in my house pouring no big cups of juice

[Anthony Bourdain @Bourdain]

One more episode of "My Little Pony", pop a Valium. Fly to Finland.

[cabby @cabby]

Got a botched circumcision now my willy wonka

[eSBe @SB2749]

shrek 1 plot:

[Mikael @BacardiCapital]

I hope this email finds you rock hard

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

I’ve pooped in gas stations you wouldn’t even pee in

[Mr. Meat Scraps @ReallyLoudFart]

Letting her eat oats from my palm on our first date

[toe, lover (living) @carobunga]

People killin people dyin
Peter Lois meg and Brian

[Nick Mullen @nycguidovoice]

Call me Captain Quirk the way I Shatner pussy