The Great Brandino

"Young, dumb, and orbiting the sun."

#GOPACKGO
13x🏆🧀🟢🟡

[The Great Brandino @BrandonWOwen]

@hourly_shitpost My whole life is a lie...you mean to tell me all this time this man's name wasn't Scoobert Doobert?

[Slumdog_Chillionaire @SlumRNA_Dog]

We literally do, the problem is that it typically gives women the ick so we have to pretend to want to choke you instead

[Garbage Human @GarbageHuman24]

“Congratulations Sukhpreet, you’ve just passed your CDL driver’s test”

[Killa 🌺 @KillaKreww]

Theo Von was CAUGHT OFF GUARD and couldn’t stop LAUGHING after country star Luke Bryan perfectly SET HIM UP for a joke 😭💀

“Do you like duck meat?”

“Never had any.”

“Duck on down here and get some of this meat.” 🤣🤣

[Boris Bardamu Simulator @BorisBardamu]

Its been a decade and still every choice about this fascinates me, the horrible audio quality, the completely different art styles between heads, only giving madonna cleavage, giving hillary a massive ass.

[Unlimited L's @unlimited_ls]

🚨NEW: Ohio teen charged with murdering her 55-year-old mother alongside her boyfriend and his roommate, says her parents were "VERY RACIST"

Bryanna Dutcher, 18, is charged in connection with the fatal shooting of her mother, Tamela Dutcher, 55

Her boyfriend, Christian Evans, 20, and his roommate, Dajameous Payne, 21, are also charged with murder

She reportedly told police her parents didn't know about Evans because they were "VERY RACIST" and would have kicked her out of the house

Investigators say Evans and Payne entered the home and shot Tamela, then fired at her husband when he tried to help her

Investigators also say Bryanna repeatedly lied about what happened to protect Evans and Payne

All three suspects are being held on $3 million bonds

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

🚨THIS IS INSANE!!!

A daughter drove HUNDREDS of miles to check on her sick 75-year-old father... only to find the locks changed and a Ring camera on his door.

When she climbed through a window to reach her own dad, SHE got arrested for trespassing.

Then she was told, THROUGH THE DOORBELL, that he was no longer alive and that the NURSE who "took care of him" actually now OWNED HER DAD'S HOUSE.

This happened in Conway, South Carolina, and it will make your blood boil.

Her name is Nora Rowland.

Her dad was Robert Rowland, 75 years old and a vulnerable man living with Parkinson's and a brain injury.

Nora and her father were incredibly close. A "daddy's girl," she said. They FaceTimed every single week.

Then, in early 2024, a nurse named Sarah Smalls started caring for Robert through a home care company.

And that's when Nora says her dad started to disappear.

The weekly calls slowed. Then stopped. Something was wrong.

So on Father's Day, when she didn't hear from him, she got in her car and drove from Baltimore all the way to South Carolina to check on the man she loved.

When she got there, his front door had been replaced. A Ring camera was watching her. She couldn't get into her own father's home.

So she climbed through a window. And police arrested her and her partner for TRESPASSING... at her own dad's house.

And then, over that Ring doorbell, she was told her father had died.

Nora says that in the weeks before her father died, that nurse had the DEED to his house signed over to herself.

...and the family wasn't told until he was already gone.

To be clear... man with Parkinson's and a BRAIN INJURY, who was classified as a vulnerable adult was allowed to SIGN HIS HOME AWAY.

In Nora's own words: "He would never think that someone could do this to him. I really can't emphasize enough how many other people could easily get taken advantage of like this."

Her trespassing charges were dismissed, s now she's fighting in court to get her father's house back.

The nurse refused to comment. The care company claimed they knew nothing, but Nora says she has subpoenaed documents proving otherwise.

Police are still investigating.

[Rodolphe Steffan @RodolpheSteffan]

Je ne comprends pas trop le délire qu’on a tous avec la crypto 😂

Soyons sérieux 2 minutes : 95 % des cryptos qu’on a achetées, on les a gardées…et on est en perte dessus. Voilà. 😭

BTC, ETH, SOL…on en a tous à tous les étages : des étages gagnants, des étages perdants, des achats dont on est fier et d’autres qu’on préfère oublier 😂

Quand ça baisse : « La crypto c’est terminé. »
Quand ça remonte : « JE VOUS L’AVAIS DIT 🚀🚀🚀 »

Alors qu’en réalité, on est juste tous là avec nos bags depuis des années à regarder les chiffres changer de couleur. 😂

Y’a pas midi à quatorze heures : parfois on gagne, parfois on prend une branlée, parfois ça remonte et on est contents.

Bref, bienvenue dans la crypto. 😭😂

[Clerpatriot @clerpatriot]

History already ran this experiment, Lindsay Clancy’s case is almost a carbon copy to Constance Fisher.

In 1954 Constance drowned her three children in the bathtub after claiming she heard voices and she was paranoid.

She was found not guilty by reason of insanity and was locked in a state hospital.

They declare her better after a few years, and let her out of the state hospital.

In 1966 after having three more children she drowns all three of them too.

This was completely a preventable tragedy!

In 2023 Lindsay Clancy strangles Cora, Dawson, and Callan with exercise bands and admits she did it.

The entire defense is she was too insane to be responsible, and If the jury buys it, she doesn’t go to prison, she goes to a psych hospital that reviews her for release.

One woman already showed us the sequel.

The system said “she’s well now.” Six children later, she wasn’t.

This is not a new story…It’s the same story with new names and a different decade.

If they ever let Lindsay Clancy walk free, remember Constance Fisher.

[𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛 @KLobstar]

idk who made it but I think about “woah momma they trapped me in the orb” constantly

[Baalzamon35 @baalzamon35]

"Maybe she murdered her children in pre planned, cold blood. But did you see one time she had to put shoes on her kid by herself?!?!"

Women are fucking batshit crazy.

[The Great Brandino @BrandonWOwen]

Rarely does a tweet make me literally lol, but this one got me.

[Crispy @gaytwinkfaggot]

It’s kinda crazy how growing up our dads made us kill our basement brother what was that about

[Black Mamba Millionaire @BlackMambaMilli]

Mfers with 0.01 Bitcoin waiting to turn their $800 into $2,400 this bull run

[𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 @X_Bill_Gl]

One of the best things my therapist told me was:

The reason you ghost your friends, avoid responding, and disappear even when you care is because your nervous system sees connection as a demand, not a comfort.

You're not a bad friend. You're overwhelmed.

I used to think something was wrong with me because replying to a text felt exhausting. I cared about people, but even opening a message could make me feel overwhelmed. 1/5

[Count Dankula @CountDankulaTV]

You are all gonna make it. Don't listen to voices that tell you otherwise. They are lying to you and that's their job.

[​𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐚 @sunnkssdseraph]

People get pissed. When I say this, I have a lot of wealthy friends and I also have a lot of broke friends. Broke, friends often spend time watching a lot of sports, Netflix scrolling a lot, complaining a lot, consuming a lot of news, wealthy friends spend time working out, working on their business, working on their relationships, spending time with their families, their kids. I find that my wealthy friends only consume news that's relevant to their industry or the thing that they're passionate about. Broke friends consume news from every disaster ever, even if it's not relevant to them, everything going wrong and are really in that echo chamber of going wrong. Wealthy friends, they talk about their self development, concept of living and life. My broke friends talk a lot more about politics. My wealthy friends are very much in a victor. I am responsible for everything mentality. My broke friends are often really stuck in the victim mentality. It's a super interesting dichotomy. Another thing is I think a lot of broke people will talk about the past and a lot of wealthy people talk about the future.

[Charles @charliefx_]

The game only ends when the coffin closes

[corleone @corleoneYC]

Os homens podem trabalhar até de madrugada, acordar às 5 da manhã, estar endividado, desanimado, sozinho, e ainda ter fé que um dia tudo vai dar certo.

[Adio @Adiofreak]

Just saw an Instagram reel that said:

“At some point you become the age that your parents were in your childhood memories, only you don’t feel like an adult, and you realize your parents were still just kids trying to figure it out too”

And that shit just fucked me up.

[Jaylor Rana @UnpaidPhilosphr]

I’ll get hate for this, but let’s not sugarcoat it: gender equality exists because men chose to institutionalize it. If men collectively decided tomorrow that gender equality should cease to exist, women couldn’t do much about it. That’s the uncomfortable reality of power.

[ElectionMapsIF @ElectionMapsIF]

The most compelling argument I've come across for Christianity being true is just how demonic the worst people alive get at the sight of it