Brandy Watson

I’m fabulous and that’s all you need to know.

[. @SuiNeltwork]

at midnight tonight we will sacrifice goofy

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: What did you learn at school today?

10-year-old: Fractions.

Me: What about them?

10: That they're the worst.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

My husband has the flu and doesn’t cover his mouth when he coughs... we’re all gonna die.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

@Krisstory I didn’t realize I was married to freaking Sherwin Williams.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

Convinced the hubs to paint the living room and now he’s making me cover all the holes on the walls that I made when I used thumb tacks instead of nails to hang pictures. (That he told me not to use). Now I’m depressed.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

But really.... how many cookies are too many?

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

Also: Please do not run down the hall like Kramer from Seinfeld and throw me a freaking hand towel and think that you’re helping. YOU AREN’T!

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

I am so happy (sarcasm) to report that even after 7 years of my daughter being alive, my husband is still absolutely ZERO HELP when she throws up.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

@MoJade94 Damn Dana! That stings!

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

@BacheloretteABC Jed gets out of the car with a guitar.... Me:

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

Me watching Wheel of Fortune like a 90 year old woman: “JOHN!!! Don’t spin the wheel again, it’s a trap!! You’re gonna go bankrupt!”...

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

@mattporter87 @Theresacaputo Yes! Of course the ENTIRE reason, I love her is because my mom and I used to watch a medium on television together.. so we shall see! Eek!

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

After wanting to see her for like the past 10 years, I bought a ticket to see @Theresacaputo in September. I literally can’t even explain how happy I am about it.

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

@Krisstory @Theresacaputo I totally did. I bought a single ticket. I just had too. If it turns out to be a bust, it’s ok. If she can offer me a shred of closure, it will be worth it all.

[The Bachelorette @BacheloretteABC]

You deserve it all @alabamahannah! ❤️ #TheBachelorette #MenTellAll

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

When @AlabamaHannah moved that podium past Luke, I was nearly shouting at my tv. Like BOY BYE!!! @BacheloretteABC

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

Warning: bandwagon tv show tweets coming up. #TheBachelorette

[Brandy Watson @brandywatson87]

Nothing ruins your Friday morning more, than realizing it’s Thursday..