Eli

sometimes i don't know enough - they/he

[Eli @bread_lover69]

someone drunker than me on the train always makes me feel better...today that someone is holding a pbr

[promise li @promise__li]

actually this is for cantonese ppl

[Finch @blckbrdquitter]

nothing quite as euphoric as going on testosterone and finding out you have the big dick gene hallelujah

[black pepper cracker @__angoose]

Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location

[Eli @bread_lover69]

we don't know how strong gorillas would be if they went to the gym

[Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff]

Now imagine you're an apple, a pear, a plum, a strawberry, an orange, a cake, an ice cream, a pickle, cheese, salami, a lollipop, a cherry pie, a sausage, a cupcake, a watermelon, or a green leaf.

Not so happy, is it

[michaela @luckylamb420]

sandwich party was a success and probably one of the greatest ideas i’ve ever had. 10/10 would recommend throwing your own

[뱜댕이리턴즈 @Byamdaeng_]

어제 간 바에 칵테일 이름이
기니피그 관람료라서
궁금해서 미칠 것 같은 거임
결국 주문했는데
이런... 기니가 옴................

[chatpile roan @chatpileroan]

king gizzard mosh pit

[George @WoodsyDem]

Kid in the pub has a live chameleon in his rucksack

[✰🧃 @AddictKE_]

beavers are so funny why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering

[YIMBYLAND @YIMBYLAND]

Imagine pounding a 30-rack with the boys here.
The fact that I cant do this in America sickens me.
https://t.co/kpEMzhbOTh

[big headass bong yoda @gummysalamander]

poop map has taught me that anywhere between 3 poops a day and 3 poops a week is considered healthy and that seems like a very large margin

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

so sick showing ur passport to get into a bar. hello guard. i am a diplomat from very far away. please beer please please please please beer

[hammer @500crabs]

for breakfast we do something cool like have a cigarette and like a bar of chocolate then we go for work for one half hour two half hour then we go for lunch and lunch is usually yknow something cool like a cigarette and two three bottle of red wine and like a bowl of heavy cream

[keysmashbandit @keysmashbandit]

I'm sorry this is insane. A person in 1704 would be completely swept off their feet stunned at the comfort, warmth, affordability, and ease of care afforded by a pair of knit Costco brand sweatpants

[Sophianeⵣ is Team Hoary🦇🦇 @HonkIfUrHoary]

I’ve never been so excited to have a new hole in my jeans.

[Ryan Moulton @moultano]

It's crazy that everyone's toes grow up deformed because wearing shoes which actually fit human feet makes your feet look a little like a duck's.

[銀 ᝰ🚬 @asymptomatyc]

my gay ass breakfast is an icecream and chocolate flavored marlboros