wannabe beach mom

dog mom. she/her. opinions are my own. former fan development in chicago. a little kindness goes a long way

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

“I work in eviction law” ok well cyclosporaisis is knocking with a 2 hour notice, it’s gonna evict your existence from the inside out

[#BB28 Feeds Fairy @BBFeedsFairy]

Lyric has been eating unwashed grapes in the storage room for the last 20 minutes and she just said "I feel like I gotta take a shit" #bb28

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

cannot believe the sheer number of film references packed into the beginning minutes of minions & monsters

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

gonna watch s2 of the pitt today because robby is a metaphor for america rn, absolutely crashing the fuck out

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

we love a beagle bagel

Lucy has progressed from bagel to bread loaf

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

"would you like to save your files to onedrive"

No, i'd like to do this:

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

and they wouldn’t let me put my 8 lb two month old baby in the cup, smh

[Dobber @DobberHockey]

Ummm… the #StanleyCup is more than “dented” lol 😂

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

everyday, we come a little closer to this and idiocracy

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

A self-driving robot toilet that drives to your bed, washes and dries you, then returns to its dock to clean itself has been unveiled in China

Reports suggest it could cost around $4,000, depending on the model

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

*laughs in 100 calorie packs*

[Candace D. @DiaryofaSickGrl]

One of my favorite parts about the 90s is we just ate whatever food we wanted. Food was food. No one argued about what food was bad and what food was healthy. We just minded our business in general. At least that’s how I remember it

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

oh my god I could walk from the 1:30 AM IMAX screening of The Odyssey to work

[Marcus Leshock @marcusleshock]

JUST IN: Chicagoland officially has a 70mm IMAX theater now - the Cinemark Seven Bridges in Woodridge just put tickets to Christopher Nolan’s THE ODYSSEY up for sale.

Look at how many tickets have been sold for a 1:30AM SHOWING on Friday 7/13. 🤯 The nearly 3 hour film would likely wrap up at about 5am if you factor in the trailers. 😮

Decent seats for all other showings opening weekend are all but gone.

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

bet he’s still too chicken shit to ask for his order to be corrected when it comes out wrong and has to rely on a woman speaking up (it’s the only time she gets to speak up)

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Morgan Wallen flips his piano onstage in Denver after a technical issue mid-performance.

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

tapping the sign

https://t.co/veaTlrP7yE

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

NEW: The DOJ is seeking the names, addresses, and banking information of Reddit and X users.

[kat @yslnadi]

when he tells me he couldn't call because he was busy and I remember that an astronaut called his wife from the moon

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

give me a Sidney Crosby appearance

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

‘THE PITT’ Season 3 will be set in “early November, just before the holidays.”

(Source: https://t.co/ZHgJBWEyZN)

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

time to eat, friends

[Barchart @Barchart]

The Top 1% of U.S. earners now have more wealth than the entire middle class

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

This was a truly excellent movie, and they even give you a cute lil sheep mask after 🥺

[Rotten Tomatoes 🍅 @RottenTomatoes]

#TheSheepDetectives is now Certified Fresh at 96% on the Tomatometer, with 84 reviews: https://t.co/glT03BpnDZ

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

only makes sense after the hellish weather we endured last week

[Ryan Hall, Y’all @ryanhallyall]

The nicest weather in the USA today will be between Madison, WI and Rockford, IL. Windows open kind of day.

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

LET THEM. We should be holding our government accountable. If the elected officials cannot work for the populations that elected them, they should not work for ANYONE.

[Gina Milan @ginamilan_]

I can’t stand TMZ… but them setting up shop in Washington, DC to follow politicians might be the most glorious thing I’ve ever seen. Just wait—staffers and interns are about to start cashing in left and right, dropping receipts for a quick payday. This could get ugly fast. Oof.

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

havin a real “I miss my dog” kinda day

[wannabe beach mom @breakfastaisle]

Make EMTs placing leads on women exhibiting cardiovascular events:

[aus @sauczsa]

Girl fuck u and those big naturals

[NASA @NASA]

Ooh, now you're letting go 🌕

As our Artemis II astronauts prepare to leave the lunar sphere of influence and return to Earth's gravitational pull, they listened to "Tokyo Drifting," by Denzel Curry and Glass Animals, as their wakeup song.