BOB@/DÜDE IMAGINARIUM the commander in chief Bob's counselor train of thought FRIENDOS that wealthy ass black guy creator of timeloops ARTIST foreshadow
MY STATEMENT:
IF EVERYTHING HAS MEANING, NOTHING HAS MEANING. BUT IF NOTHING HAS MEANING, SOMETHING HAS MEANING.
WHAT HAS MEANING?
IN SIMPLE TERMS.
IF EVERYTHING MATTERS, NOTHING MATTERS. BUT IF NOTHING MATTERS, SOMETHING MATTERS.
WHAT MATTERS?
I’ve been following tech girlies on TikTok. Not software tech, the one who build with hardware and I have so much to learn
One girl is building her own mp3 and this one built a communication device. She’s also converting a 1970s Yamaha bike to electric, incredible
People who think they are extremely self-aware are often doing nothing more than turning themselves into a permanent psychological project. Every reaction is analyzed, every emotion is interpreted, every insecurity is examined, every childhood event is revisited.
They call it awareness, but most of the time it is simply self-preoccupation with intellectual decoration around it. The ego has not disappeared, it has become the observer, the analyst, the therapist, and the patient all at once. Years can pass this way. The prison remains exactly where it was. Only the description of the prison becomes more sophisticated.
Scientists shut off the dopamine in some rats and they stopped eating. Food everywhere. They starved in a full cage, not because they hated it. Put sugar on their tongue and they licked their lips. They still liked it. They just lost the drive to go get it.
This is one of the strangest things we know about the brain, and it traces back to a researcher named Kent Berridge at the University of Michigan. Your head runs two different systems. One is wanting, the push that gets you off the couch and moving. The other is liking, the good feeling once you are in it. Dopamine runs the wanting. The enjoyment runs on separate wiring. So you can be sure you will love something and still feel almost no pull to start it.
That is the man in the cartoon, swinging at rock with diamonds all around him. He could see the good stuff. He just could not make himself dig toward it.
Once you see why, the usual story about procrastination stops making sense. We say lazy, or bad with time. Mostly, it is neither. Two psychologists, Fuschia Sirois and Tim Pychyl, argued back in 2013 that it runs on emotion. A task makes you feel something you would rather not feel, even just the small dread of starting, and putting it off makes that feeling vanish on the spot. So you scroll, or you suddenly need to clean the kitchen. Dodging the task is a quick hit of relief, and your brain grabs it. The bill goes straight to future-you, who is left holding the guilt and the deadline.
You can even see it on a brain scan. In 2018, a team in Germany scanned 264 people and matched the scans against how much each person put things off. The big procrastinators had a larger amygdala, the little alarm bell deep in the brain that flags anything risky. They also had a weaker link to the part meant to quiet that alarm and get you moving, a region called the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex. Loud alarm, weak off-switch.
And if this is you, you have plenty of company. A big 2007 review found that 80 to 95 percent of college students procrastinate, that roughly one in five adults does it long-term, and that more than 95 percent of them wish they could quit. Students alone burn about a third of their day on it.
The fix falls out of that same split. If wanting and liking are two different systems, then waiting to "feel like it" is waiting for a bus that may never come. The main treatment for the severe version, called behavioral activation, flips the order. You start first, as small as you can stand, before any motivation shows up. The wanting tends to arrive a few minutes after you begin. The diamonds were there the whole time. You just have to swing the pick before you feel ready.
the craziest thing about being an adult is that you could go through the most traumatic night of your life and you'll just have to go to work the next day
The older I get, the more I believe in the theory that if a city attracts you, it’s because someone or something is waiting for you there and your story has already been written
My man said something to me that really stuck.
He told me, “I’m not actually here to control you. I’m not your dad, I’m your partner. You’re free to make your own choices. Just understand that every choice has consequences. If you choose something that damages what we’ve built, that’s on you.”
He said, “I’ll always tell you when something hurts me or crosses a boundary, because that’s what healthy communication looks like. But if you keep stepping over the line after I’ve shown you where it is, then you were never really protecting us to begin with.”
And honestly, that’s what accountability in a relationship sounds like.