Brent Something

If this was your Twitter bio you'd be home by now.

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Saw an old lady crossing the street so I did the boy scout thing and used two sticks to light her on fire.

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Had a mid-life, mid-pandemic crisis and formed a band. Maybe take a break from the horribleness of Twitter and have a listen to our first single?

https://t.co/3dTUz7fQsk

BONUS: Any follows on Spotify would surely make these 4 old men smile into their soup…

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@Taggart7 @ianblurton Saw CoH open for you at Louis Pub in Saskatoon ahead of the Clumsy release. You and Duncan were chucking something - I want to say popcorn - at them while they played, clearly having a blast. I’ll never forget how funny that was.

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@the_real_keg Probably easier to just move into a new house

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

I'm more poutine now than man; bloated and sweating

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Googling 'how to remove chewing gum from a keyboard' and just making things worse

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Sorry honey, no gifts this year. As you know money is tight and I spent our savings on 8 purebred huskies to pull my Segway through the snow

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@eqshaw @theavettbros @AvettGuild Another Avett Guild member in Edmonton?! That is outstanding. I'm happy to know I'm not alone!

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@MarkRobertMcCue Hi Mark, I drove you home from the mall tonight and I think your lady friend left her purse in my car...

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Of all the Costcos, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into this one and catch me guzzling bottles of ranch dressing

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Used a baseball bat to chase away some Jehovah’s Witnesses who were cleverly dressed as young girls trying to sell cookies.

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

Peeing freely in the great outdoors is the best thing about camping in the Walmart parking lot.

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

I've got an iron will and brass balls and nerves of steel and a lead foot and a heart of gold and a case of severe metal poisoning

[Age of Computer @scawn_]

Obviously this cat thinks I won't punch a cat

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@HarMarSuperstar Sweet! That must've been recently added; I just checked your schedule a few days ago. Before I book a hotel, no Edmonton plans foreseeable?

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

@HarMarSuperstar Dear Mr. Superstar, is there any chance you might be returning to Canada (western, specifically) this year sometime?

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

If Turtle Wax isn’t made from real turtles then what the hell have I been putting on my toast all these years

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

*shouts over music* I MODERATE A D&D MESSAGE BOARD WANNA GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND "GAIN SOME EXPERIENCE POINTS”? *makes hip-thrusting motion*

[Brent Something @brentcetera]

I love the smell of napalm in the morning which is why they don’t let me plan the church breakfast anymore